രാധയ്ക്കറിയാം ..

ഒരാള്‍ക്ക് രണ്ടുപേരെ പ്രേമിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയുമോ, ആത്മാര്‍ഥമായി തന്നെ? പക്ഷെ ആത്മാര്‍ഥതയെ എങ്ങനെ നിര്‍വചിക്കും? ആ നിര്‍വചനം അടിസ്ഥാനമാക്കിയായിരിക്കും എന്‍റെ ചോദ്യത്തിന്‍റെ ഉത്തരം. രണ്ടുപേരെ പ്രേമിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയുന്നെങ്കില്‍ അതില്‍ ആത്മാര്‍ഥത ഉണ്ടാവില്ലെന്നാണു എനിക്ക് തോന്നുന്നത്. എന്നാലും ആത്മാര്‍ഥതയുടെ അര്‍ഥം ഒന്നു മാറ്റിപ്പിടിച്ചാല്‍ അങ്ങിനെ കഴിയില്ലേ? അവിടെ സത്യത്തില്‍ ചതിയോ വഞ്ചനയോ ഇല്ലല്ലോ, ഉള്ളതു സ്നേഹം മാത്രം അല്ലേ, എന്നും ചിന്തിക്കാമല്ലോ?

പിന്നെയുള്ളത് നമ്മുടെ സമൂഹത്തിന്‍റെ വീക്ഷണമാണ്. ഒരേ സമയം രണ്ടുപേരെ പ്രേമിച്ചു നടന്നാല്‍ സമൂഹം പറയും അതു ‘ചതി’ ആണെന്ന്. ഒരാളെ ഒഴിവാക്കിയ ശേഷം (ഒഴിവായ ശേഷവും ആവാം) മറ്റൊരാളെ സ്നേഹിച്ചാല്‍ അതു കുഴപ്പമില്ല. അതാണു നമ്മുടെ സമൂഹത്തിന്‍റെ വിലയിരുത്തല്‍. രണ്ടാമത്തെ സാഹചര്യത്തില്‍ ഒരാള്‍ വഞ്ചിക്കുന്നത് അയാളുടെ മനസ്സിനെത്തന്നെ അല്ലേ. ഒരു കാലത്തു ആത്മാര്‍ഥമായി സ്നേഹിച്ച വ്യക്തിയെ മനസ്സീന്നു ഇറക്കിവിട്ടിട്ട് എങ്ങനെ അവിടെ മറ്റൊരാളെ പ്രതിഷ്ഠിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയും? ഒരിക്കലും ഒരാള്‍ക്കും അതിനു പൂര്‍ണ്ണമായും കഴിയില്ല,സ്വയം അങ്ങിനെ വിശ്വസിപ്പിക്കാനല്ലാതെ.

സ്നേഹം സത്യമാണ്. അതു തെളിയിക്കപ്പെടുന്നത് കാലത്തിന്‍റെ മുമ്പിലാണ്. അതൊരിക്കലും ക്ഷണികമായ ഭ്രമത്തില്‍ നിന്നുള്ളതല്ല. ശാശ്വതമാണ്. അതുകൊണ്ട് തന്നെ ഒരു മനസ്സിനു മറ്റൊരു മനസ്സിനെ മാത്രമേ സ്നേഹിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയൂ, മറ്റ്‌ “ഒരേയൊരു മനസ്സിനെ” മാത്രമേ സ്നേഹിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയൂ.

About

The author is a Quality Assurance professional by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at http://wordsandnotion.com and http://qualitynotion.com/.

One thought on “രാധയ്ക്കറിയാം ..

  1. akhilclal

    October 3, 2015 at 5:06am

    Yes… ഒരേ ഒരു മനസിനെ മാത്രം…!

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  2. Author

    wordsandnotion

    October 3, 2015 at 5:43am

    Good to know your viewpoint

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  3. Manu Michael sdb

    October 7, 2015 at 12:38pm

    There can be different levels of Love…. A may able to love very many at a time but the degree of love varies

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  4. Author

    wordsandnotion

    October 8, 2015 at 4:46am

    Degree of love..? Is there something like that..?

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  5. Sree

    October 14, 2015 at 10:51am

    LOve cant be defined..In this world..its not genuine..
    love is selfish.

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    • Author

      wordsandnotion

      October 15, 2015 at 4:25am

      Thanks a lot for visiting and commenting.
      But I don’t agree with you fully.. true love won’t be driven by selfishness.

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    • Author

      wordsandnotion

      October 15, 2015 at 4:22am

      Thank you

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  6. Nisthur Anadi

    November 9, 2015 at 10:58am

    Can’t read but understanding after reading comment s its about love or may be its about Divine love ☺

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  7. Aneesh Sreekumar

    January 4, 2016 at 6:16pm

    One can love TWO people at the same time? Yes ! Married guys love their mom and wife at the same time. Children loving mom and dad at the same time. In the former men struggle to find the right balance and hence many discords. But latter has more harmony which may later deteriorate! And time heals wounds inflicted by love. Another person will conquer your heart. Eventhough the wounds have healed the scars left behind will force us to remember the past! Great post this!
    Looking forward to reading such wonderful posts in Malayalam more often!

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 5, 2016 at 5:48am

      Thank you Aneesh.. Your comments are really a booster..You are absolutely correct, the scars left behind will force us to remember the past. That’s why I ask how can one love ( not a children-parent’s love or a son-wife/mother love etc.etc .) two people at the same time..? Will it be sincere?
      Heard that Radha is a virtual character…But I adore her a lot, dream her a lot, believe in her true love.

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      • Aneesh Sreekumar

        January 7, 2016 at 8:47am

        Yes it can be sincere! It again hinges upon perspectives and meanings! I may love two girls sincerely from my own perspective, but the society may give another meaning called TWO TIMING! But there are examples of two persons being loved at the same time! Bajirao Mastani could be an example! I still think it is hard to love two with same sincerity! I would think that I am cheating on the other one!
        When society was still evolving, the most primitive societies had no restrictions for women as well as men for loving, having sex, or marrying a different person! Because promiscuity was the norm! There were no notions of SINCERITY! There was love and lust and freedom! Gradually as the soceites started getting more organised! There was surplus production, evolution of exchange relations, growth of market. This lead to the creation of wealth! Wealth was concentrated in the hands of few! The concern of the few, as they started amassing more wealth, became the overwhelming need for concentration of wealth in the same hands/or heirs even after the death of the present wealth holder! Thus, the freedom, love, lust, promiscuisity and marriage all these concepts went for a toss! Women couldnt be more free like before, she couldnt get into physical relationships with men and vice versa( of course secretly they could but what once was explicit became implicit). In place of promiscuisity, the institution of marriage was placed and the importance of maintaining the purity of marriage was emphasised… Thus the role of women changed forever… This lead to growth of patriarchy and surrender of women’s right to decision making, body and autonomy being transfered to man! The wedlock was legitimised more with the growing hold of religion and their beliefs. The orginal sin, manusmrithi, quran everything subordinated women to man. Family , marriage was emphasised with increasign stress on SINCERITY, FAITH, MUTUAL RESPECT, OFFSPRINGS, NO TO ADULTERY etc…..Thus the notion of sincerity still rules in all the societies and those who love two or more at the same time are branded as cheaters or INSINCERE! It has been ringed into our minds and even we will think twice before loving more than one person! These notions may change! For instance SEX as we know is changing! (I would not like to get explicit here!) as society progress forward!

        Radha ! Yes she is great! But how many radhas in real society will be held as pious? Not even a single one! Because, when women violate the streotypical image held by a patriarchal society, there will be backlash for the woman in question. But still MEERA managed to do it!!

        The conclusion is (as I think): You can only love one person sincerely! If that persons walks out of your life. its unfortunate. Time will heel the wounds but scar will stay.!! But if you love more than one at the same time SINCERELY, society will bring you back to its notions of SINCERITY! SheHe may still love many but it will be suppressed… And over the course of herhis life they will change or evolve the notions about Sincere love..through fatherhood, motherhoood and the teen problems it brings along!!

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        • Author

          Akhila

          January 7, 2016 at 9:57am

          Aneesh .. it is wonderful reply. full of logic..you have shared a great perspective linking to the ancient world.
          we can never ignore the left scars of history. It will chase every here and there. Even though luckily I don’t have any scars left, I strongly believe in the sincere love. Mind may be adaptive, but never one can lie to his/her mind. So I believe one can’t love many sincerely. i really liked your comparison upon the ancient people. True that they never should have thought in that angle of sincerity and all. Will it be the same case with animals too..?

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          • Aneesh Sreekumar

            January 7, 2016 at 10:41am

            Whatever I wrote as comment, its not mine! It was said by Fredereich Engles, Karl Marx’s companion! I am a sociology student. So I know theories describing how society’s evolve, grow and reach a saturation point! Fredereich Engles tried to trace the orgins of subordination of women. I added the notions of sincerity to it which evolve trhough culture. Karl Marx traces the evolution of society in europe similarly in four stages, Primitive communism, Slave Society, Feudalism, Capitalism and finally his eutopia Communism…. What I told is true and was the norm in Primitive Communism societies that is before property evolved and property was held in common! Its not speculations!
            But the problem is there are many such theories describing how societies evolved. But the crux is that as societise evolve from simple to complex the culture, norms, values, roles, myths, religion etc too evolve along… We shape societies and societies shape us! Space doesnt permit to go deeper but reading a basic sociology book would help!
            I too believe no one can love one person sincerely……
            And animals…….well they dont even have the sixth sense! Its we who think on behalf of them and write about them! So its out of the questioN!

            Again I didnt compare… It was done by Engles, Marx, Durkheim, Hobbes, Mill all the guys thought and wrote about it!! So….

          • Author

            Akhila

            January 10, 2016 at 9:52am

            so you are a great student.. 😉

          • Aneesh Sreekumar

            January 10, 2016 at 10:18am

            Kaanan oru glamour illanjitta
            Pakshe Bhayangara buddhiyaa!!! Lol!

            Not a great student! Just a humble observer commenting to a good poet!

          • Author
  8. thecucumbercity

    January 7, 2016 at 12:47pm

    Even closed everything with mutual understanding, can’t even think about another one, then how can someone love two persons at a time. That’s not Sincere Love. Or perhaps I say it’s not ‘The Love without lust’. We wish only good things for the other one. So if we love two person at a time it does not mean that you are cheating, but you are hurting both of them. Somebody loves somebody sincerely never hurt that somebody. We designed/created to have one soulmate forever. I don’t know this is something I felt.

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  9. myheartbeats4ublog

    May 16, 2016 at 10:25am

    well expressed view. hmmmm, but debatable. also, why categorize love, as in parent-child, wife-husband etc?? is’nt pure love common in all relationships, I wonder….

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  10. Masoom Jethwa

    August 21, 2016 at 3:41pm

    The language.
    മലയാളം വായിക്കാൻ ഗുണവും, എന്നാൽ മാത്രം Google പരിഭാഷ സഹായത്തോടെ. ഞാൻ ചില തെറ്റായ തോന്നലും പക്ഷം നമക്കേ

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    • Author

      Akhila

      August 26, 2016 at 11:50am

      do you mean you can be committed to two persons at a time, with a varying intensity..?

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        • Author
          • Author

            Akhila

            August 26, 2016 at 12:16pm

            hmm..even the thoughts are much beyond my brain to accept.

          • Manu Michael sdb

            August 26, 2016 at 12:21pm

            Why??? Let me ask u a question, do find it difficult to love ur husband and children at the same time?

          • Author

            Akhila

            August 26, 2016 at 12:26pm

            oh.. read my question once again…romantically only one love life for me..

  11. G.Radhakrishnan Poonthura

    August 29, 2016 at 11:57pm

    താങ്കളുടെ പഴയൊരു വരി ഞാനിവിടെ കടം കൊള്ളുകയാണ് ” പ്രേമിക്കുന്നത്

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    • G.Radhakrishnan Poonthura

      August 29, 2016 at 11:58pm

      പ്രേമിക്കുന്നത് തലച്ചോറു കൊണ്ടാണോ? ഇല്ലങ്കിൽ ഉറപ്പായും “രാധയ്ക്കറിയാം”

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      • Author

        Akhila

        August 30, 2016 at 11:54am

        so happy that you captured the true essence of those posts… you are absolutely correct and the second post was a continuation of the first one….

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  12. ranjith17blog

    September 6, 2016 at 11:51am

    You can’t love two at a time sincerely as you told, but I believe you can love one sincerely and be in a great pain because of the other at the same time. Premam and Viraham can be felt because of the two people at the same period of time

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 6, 2016 at 11:55am

      ithoru puthiya arivanallo, premam and viraham at the same time …may be words from an experienced heart..;)

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          • ranjith17blog

            September 6, 2016 at 12:57pm

            Athalado. He would have known Premam and viraham can be there at the same time. He had a lot of wives ryt.

          • Author

            Akhila

            September 6, 2016 at 1:00pm

            angine….have you read randammoozham..in that book krishan is just a human..was feeling a new dimension for krishnan after reading that…

          • ranjith17blog

            September 6, 2016 at 1:04pm

            I too had but was more thinking about the difference between hidumbi and panchali….and whom to like more.

          • Author

            Akhila

            September 6, 2016 at 1:05pm

            hmm.. cant measure them in a same measuring device

          • ranjith17blog

            September 6, 2016 at 1:06pm

            but from a wider perspective, maybe we can, I dont know..

          • Author

            Akhila

            September 6, 2016 at 1:09pm

            novels could make us to have different perspectives.. but who knows the underlying facts..

          • ranjith17blog

            September 6, 2016 at 1:14pm

            Facts ah, I believe facts can be easily attached to our perspectived

          • Author

            Akhila

            September 6, 2016 at 2:06pm

            true…is there any books on him.. like randam moozham for bheeman

          • Author

            Akhila

            September 6, 2016 at 2:31pm

            ya.. ya… seems i forgot about it

          • ranjith17blog

            September 6, 2016 at 2:20pm

            There is one ” Karnan”. That’s also good. Author is Sivaji sawant. Translation from Marathi.

          • Author

            Akhila

            September 6, 2016 at 2:30pm

            ohaky.. seems we need one in malayalam..

          • ranjith17blog

            September 6, 2016 at 1:04pm

            Ya but, going per the myths, krishnan would have known..

          • Author
  13. Rekha @ Dew Drops

    September 7, 2016 at 4:02pm

    I don’t think love I’d measurable or can be restricted by any means. Human heart and mind are not controlled by society. But yes, our actions on the outside are definitely controlled by what people will think. Have been reading a lot about love but none of it felt logically right. I guess it varies from person to person and situation to situation. Malayalam vaayikaam and parayaam, but writing is difficult for me. Glad to have dropped in. 🙂

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 7, 2016 at 4:07pm

      Really glad to know that you can read and speak malayalam..ya, as you said, there are many definitions for love…and then just pay attention to ones own heart . that’s all we can do

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