Affirmative comments

By | September 10, 2016

Affirmative or constructive comments stimulate us a lot. It’s an art to speak in that way. Even in this wordpress world, we always feel better to read comment which has got something to tell us positively. It could be even a critic one, but makes us to wear a thinking hat after reading it.

I don’t mind whatever you tell me as I have a got a filer to my senses and a powerful blessing of short term memory with respect to the bad. 😉 (Of curse, it doesn’t mean that I am trouble-free.)

But I have seen some offensive comments, going on here and there, especially with people who may not have such a “filter”.

Why do we want to hurt someone’s ego with an offensive comment..?

So just a thought:

Why can’t we make them smile with our comment..?

Why can’t we make them feel better with our approach..?

Please don’t hesitate to offend me now, if you feel in the other way. 😉

People may tell like, “I don’t mind whatever you think about me. I will say whatever I think”. Even then, my question is, “Do your inner self agree to your offensive nature? Can you still continue without least botheration of your words..?”

72 thoughts on “Affirmative comments

  1. Lion/Lioness

    People make comments that hurt ego’s because their ego is hurt and instead of them communicating their hurt, or communicating irritation in a proper way, they resort to hurting others. It’s a way of shutting down which causes more pain. I think for the most part, pleasant people try their best to make others smile and feel better with their comments to comfort them or just to be an all around pleasant person that wants to spread love. Perhaps your inner self never agrees with hurtful or painful words, speaking on my own account, I spew harmful words when hurt deeply and feeling frustration from being unable to express my emotions. I also spew unpleasant words when people poor acid on my already festering wounds. I will say, I am trying to do a better job by holding myself accountable for what I say. But people should remember, although we all have a higher soul self, we are still human and experience human emotions. I think I answered everything, let me know your thoughts.

    Reply
  2. Joker Shayar

    You are right but sometimes you have to act like that to avoid unnecessary arguments by those judgemental people who dont know anything about your story but are very quick to make negative comments about your actions. For those kinda reactions i try to be polite as much as i can by saying that i respect your views but i don’t expect anyone to respect mine as it doesn’t matter to me.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Yaa..Infact i rarely care such things..but it’s bit difficult to notice this happening all around

      Reply
  3. Varsh

    Some people get a kick out of being difficult to others. When it comes to a blog, it is a person’s choice if he wants to read or not or comment or not.
    A fruitful discussion that takes the topic somewhere or sheds light on it is indeed welcome. Simply being offensive because you don’t agree with something, isn’t.
    I don’t think these people spend any time with their inner selves. It is more like….go…see…read…react! Also, what about people who call your post Nice, Wonderful, Awesome and nothing more? Plugging their old unrelated posts to your post?

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      True varsha..both negative and those ‘too much nice’ comments have got that bad sides…i wonder how dare they, to make themselves degraded upon the world…

      Reply
  4. Lion/Lioness

    Hmm a thought provoking discussion. Is it then necessary or wanted when people comment saying what they honestly feel?? Is the truth people seek or do they seek to make themselves feel better than other by tearing at people’s souls with their offensive comments? Do keep this discussion going even if it ventures off topic.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      If the people are trying to make them happy with those comments, okay, let them do , but never should not be at the cost someone’s tears

      Reply
      1. Lion/Lioness

        What if people don’t know their comments are offensive?? And they say comments like such only around people who they think would not be offended??

        Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          Hmm…They only need to understand the offensive nature of their comment…they won’t be agreeing even if someone tries to make them understood

          Reply
  5. TalkaholicMe

    Every platform has its own limitations, people often tend to forget that.. Saying bad words, negative points, insulting others gives them bliss often.. I believe ignorance is bliss here.. Arguing with insane doesn’t make you sane..

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      True. ignorance is the bliss there…that’s what my filter can do when it is affecting me alone…but this is an open forum and many a time people are forgetting that, making themselves vulnerable

      Reply
  6. Sabiscuit

    What I’m learning is that anything we do or say can offend someone. If I post a glass of tap water, someone will be upset that I don’t drink their brand of filtered water. Others are offended by a colour they don’t like. The key, for me, is to anticipate how a negative person will react to what I’m going to say. When/if it happens, I either have a prepared answer or say nothing.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      It is so nice of you…. I believe constructive criticism is always the best in this world..

      Reply
  7. Lion/Lioness

    Oooohhhhh …… I get it. I don’t know but I tried to come up with a justifiable reason for the other person. In a kind way.. could I have done better?

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Leo…ya..i am understanding that justifiable reason for the other person…i know you are playing for the opposite

      Reply
      1. Lion/Lioness

        I’m scratching my brain trying to figure this out. If I’ve offended anyone, I apologize sincerely. It wasn’t intended.

        Reply
  8. Lion/Lioness

    One more comment. How do you tell someone with “no filter” and an uncaring attitude they their comments hurt others without causing a riot, or turmoil??

    Reply
  9. myheartbeats4ublog

    hahaha…..(ithenneppatti aano?) “Please don’t hesitate to offend me now, if you feel in the other way” – liked this part ma’am akhila!

    Reply
  10. radhikasreflection

    I always believe that the comment should be an honest feedback of the reader. If he has a different point of view from that of the writer, he can definitely put it across well, without writing anything insulting. A positive comment makes the writer happy that his work is appreciated, while a critical comment helps the writer improve and grow!

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Exactly that’s my point..go ahead with constructive criticism and not any insulting words..

      Reply
  11. Sharmishtha

    Very true words Akhila, there are people who spread light, warmth around them, and there are people who prefer hurting others, without thinking or deliberately, never realizing what you give out to universe sooner or later returns to you!

    Reply
  12. Josh

    Don’t respond to negative comments. Ignoring them is the best thing we can give those “hurt souls”.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      True..but you know, it takes time to understand the underlying offense..and by the time it is understood, words must have started their games

      Reply
  13. unsaid words

    Some will make yo feel like a fool ,happend to me too .so called close frnd had to say that I can not decorate words when I started writing .Well its not that I don’t like criticism but when people try to pull you down ,you just get it .

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Absolutely right anamika. Yaa, they are pulling us down, moreover they are degrading themselves

      Reply
      1. unsaid words

        Yeah ,even if I can’t decorate words or anything ,I ll learn over the time but thr must be something good abt my writing too but she totally ignored it and just kept pointing my flaws 🙁

        Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          Don’t worry..just think, how bad it will affect her as she made the comments in an open forum

          Reply
          1. unsaid words

            Yeah I don’t worry akhila ,you remember my “only opponent” poem ,that was for same reason 🙂 .I believe in improving myself from myself

  14. sudershana

    Positive comments appreciates and encourages the writer to write more ! If we can make someone happy with our few words , I don’t think there is any harm . But yes, some people think being offensive made them popular or may be they grab some attention that’s not true your few words may demoralize someone that’s not acceptable at any cost !
    Good deed

    Reply
  15. Akhila Post author

    There is another side to this…if you are positive, you will feel all around you also to be positive

    Reply
  16. Akhila Post author

    See, i am not worried if i am the impacted zones….but worried on some other impacted zones

    Reply
  17. writeshefali

    A thoughtful post… I have often wondered why people have to use foul words n resort to harsh criticism… There is always a way to say things n criticism can also be worded without actually pulling someone down…but I guess some just don’t have basic sense…I usually don’t rise to the bait n retort back with more sweetness…

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thanks shefali. I am glad that we share the same feeling, and as you said, i too have control over my temper..

      Reply
  18. girlsgetting20

    or instead of negative post why cant we just leave a smily 🙂 on that post …
    also for reply of such thought , coz for me nothing is more effective than a smile…. it could mean ignorance or satisfaction or both at a same time.

    Reply
  19. Smruti Bodhi

    Affirmative comments leads to better production of good posts… it doesn’t cost to be nice so I don’t understand why people behave the opposite.
    Anyway… nice post, people should read this.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thanks smruthi…i am really glad with your words. May be , they are simply making their inner frustration out

      Reply
      1. Smruti Bodhi

        Hmm… in my field it has a term called ‘displacement’. Hurt souls try to seek peace by hurting others… stupid, but reality.

        Reply
  20. Nisthur Anadi

    We can only give what we have, if somebody is offensive, that means he or she owns nothing but hurt deeply and sharing the same with the world.

    We can be compassionate for them empathize with them.

    May God fill them with love and compassion so that they can share abundance of same.

    Now something out of context,

    Nobody can hurt you without your consent.
    People can hurt us physically but not on emotional ground. It’s more about how we perceive them . We can be compassionate and ignore them or get hurt with their offensive attack.

    Here being short term memory as you said is boon .

    This makes you even more successful as a blogger, as I had quoted that you can handle toddler and older one with equal grace.

    Hats off to you as blogger.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thanks for your intellectual reply..infact i feel pity on such offensive comments..they are not knowing how badly themselves are projected in front of this open world

      Reply
      1. Nisthur Anadi

        We can’t expect everybody to be good , it’s not possible indeed , solution to this problem doesn’t lies in them but in the self.

        Ignoring them , can be one more option I believe.

        Reply
  21. Akhila Post author

    Yaa..i agree with you on those who comment just for the sake..and ignorance is the best way to handle the other group of people..

    Reply
    1. Shivangi

      My son started kindergarten and I have been very busy lately planning other things too…That’s why took a little break. How have you been?

      Reply
      1. Akhila Post author

        I’m fine shivangi…ya..this is a new stage not only in your kid’s life but yours also..so just enjoy

        Reply

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