Affirmative comments

Affirmative or constructive comments stimulate us a lot. It’s an art to speak in that way. Even in this wordpress world, we always feel better to read comment which has got something to tell us positively. It could be even a critic one, but makes us to wear a thinking hat after reading it.

I don’t mind whatever you tell me as I have a got a filer to my senses and a powerful blessing of short term memory with respect to the bad. 😉 (Of curse, it doesn’t mean that I am trouble-free.)

But I have seen some offensive comments, going on here and there, especially with people who may not have such a “filter”.

Why do we want to hurt someone’s ego with an offensive comment..?

So just a thought:

Why can’t we make them smile with our comment..?

Why can’t we make them feel better with our approach..?

Please don’t hesitate to offend me now, if you feel in the other way. 😉

People may tell like, “I don’t mind whatever you think about me. I will say whatever I think”. Even then, my question is, “Do your inner self agree to your offensive nature? Can you still continue without least botheration of your words..?”

About

The author is a Quality Assurance professional by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at http://wordsandnotion.com and http://qualitynotion.com/.

One thought on “Affirmative comments

  1. Lion/Lioness

    September 10, 2016 at 9:22am

    People make comments that hurt ego’s because their ego is hurt and instead of them communicating their hurt, or communicating irritation in a proper way, they resort to hurting others. It’s a way of shutting down which causes more pain. I think for the most part, pleasant people try their best to make others smile and feel better with their comments to comfort them or just to be an all around pleasant person that wants to spread love. Perhaps your inner self never agrees with hurtful or painful words, speaking on my own account, I spew harmful words when hurt deeply and feeling frustration from being unable to express my emotions. I also spew unpleasant words when people poor acid on my already festering wounds. I will say, I am trying to do a better job by holding myself accountable for what I say. But people should remember, although we all have a higher soul self, we are still human and experience human emotions. I think I answered everything, let me know your thoughts.

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  2. Joker Shayar

    September 10, 2016 at 9:35am

    You are right but sometimes you have to act like that to avoid unnecessary arguments by those judgemental people who dont know anything about your story but are very quick to make negative comments about your actions. For those kinda reactions i try to be polite as much as i can by saying that i respect your views but i don’t expect anyone to respect mine as it doesn’t matter to me.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 10:21am

      Yaa..Infact i rarely care such things..but it’s bit difficult to notice this happening all around

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  3. Varsh

    September 10, 2016 at 9:38am

    Some people get a kick out of being difficult to others. When it comes to a blog, it is a person’s choice if he wants to read or not or comment or not.
    A fruitful discussion that takes the topic somewhere or sheds light on it is indeed welcome. Simply being offensive because you don’t agree with something, isn’t.
    I don’t think these people spend any time with their inner selves. It is more like….go…see…read…react! Also, what about people who call your post Nice, Wonderful, Awesome and nothing more? Plugging their old unrelated posts to your post?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 10:20am

      True varsha..both negative and those ‘too much nice’ comments have got that bad sides…i wonder how dare they, to make themselves degraded upon the world…

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  4. Lion/Lioness

    September 10, 2016 at 10:30am

    Hmm a thought provoking discussion. Is it then necessary or wanted when people comment saying what they honestly feel?? Is the truth people seek or do they seek to make themselves feel better than other by tearing at people’s souls with their offensive comments? Do keep this discussion going even if it ventures off topic.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 10:39am

      If the people are trying to make them happy with those comments, okay, let them do , but never should not be at the cost someone’s tears

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      • Lion/Lioness

        September 10, 2016 at 10:42am

        What if people don’t know their comments are offensive?? And they say comments like such only around people who they think would not be offended??

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        • Author

          Akhila

          September 10, 2016 at 10:45am

          Hmm…They only need to understand the offensive nature of their comment…they won’t be agreeing even if someone tries to make them understood

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  5. Lion/Lioness

    September 10, 2016 at 10:39am

    I wasn’t trying to rhyme, I promise. Damnit, I did it again.

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  6. TalkaholicMe

    September 10, 2016 at 10:49am

    Every platform has its own limitations, people often tend to forget that.. Saying bad words, negative points, insulting others gives them bliss often.. I believe ignorance is bliss here.. Arguing with insane doesn’t make you sane..

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 11:11am

      True. ignorance is the bliss there…that’s what my filter can do when it is affecting me alone…but this is an open forum and many a time people are forgetting that, making themselves vulnerable

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  7. Sabiscuit

    September 10, 2016 at 10:53am

    What I’m learning is that anything we do or say can offend someone. If I post a glass of tap water, someone will be upset that I don’t drink their brand of filtered water. Others are offended by a colour they don’t like. The key, for me, is to anticipate how a negative person will react to what I’m going to say. When/if it happens, I either have a prepared answer or say nothing.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 11:02am

      It is so nice of you…. I believe constructive criticism is always the best in this world..

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  8. Lion/Lioness

    September 10, 2016 at 10:55am

    Oooohhhhh …… I get it. I don’t know but I tried to come up with a justifiable reason for the other person. In a kind way.. could I have done better?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 11:06am

      Leo…ya..i am understanding that justifiable reason for the other person…i know you are playing for the opposite

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      • Lion/Lioness

        September 10, 2016 at 11:08am

        Oh, so instead of making comments like no filter, saying what I would have done when asked, say nothing at all..

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      • Lion/Lioness

        September 10, 2016 at 11:14am

        I’m scratching my brain trying to figure this out. If I’ve offended anyone, I apologize sincerely. It wasn’t intended.

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  9. Lion/Lioness

    September 10, 2016 at 11:01am

    One more comment. How do you tell someone with “no filter” and an uncaring attitude they their comments hurt others without causing a riot, or turmoil??

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  10. myheartbeats4ublog

    September 10, 2016 at 11:09am

    hahaha…..(ithenneppatti aano?) “Please don’t hesitate to offend me now, if you feel in the other way” – liked this part ma’am akhila!

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  11. radhikasreflection

    September 10, 2016 at 12:15pm

    I always believe that the comment should be an honest feedback of the reader. If he has a different point of view from that of the writer, he can definitely put it across well, without writing anything insulting. A positive comment makes the writer happy that his work is appreciated, while a critical comment helps the writer improve and grow!

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 10:13pm

      Exactly that’s my point..go ahead with constructive criticism and not any insulting words..

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  12. Sharmishtha

    September 10, 2016 at 1:23pm

    Very true words Akhila, there are people who spread light, warmth around them, and there are people who prefer hurting others, without thinking or deliberately, never realizing what you give out to universe sooner or later returns to you!

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 10:09pm

      Thanks sharmishta..your words made me smile, as i can see a similar heart in you

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  13. Josh

    September 10, 2016 at 1:34pm

    Don’t respond to negative comments. Ignoring them is the best thing we can give those “hurt souls”.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 9:56pm

      True..but you know, it takes time to understand the underlying offense..and by the time it is understood, words must have started their games

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      • Josh

        September 10, 2016 at 9:58pm

        Okay let me tell how I handle it.. I just post a 🙂 then I watch it make them burn!

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        • Author

          Akhila

          September 10, 2016 at 10:00pm

          He he..while someone is so seriously criticising and then you smile at them..l

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  14. boundlessblessingsblog

    September 10, 2016 at 3:15pm

    U know Akhila I do just that to make people happy and be a family even if they don’t like it. Good read.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 8:53pm

      Thanks kamal. That’s so nice of you…just offer iur best to cheer up people

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  15. unsaid words

    September 10, 2016 at 3:25pm

    Some will make yo feel like a fool ,happend to me too .so called close frnd had to say that I can not decorate words when I started writing .Well its not that I don’t like criticism but when people try to pull you down ,you just get it .

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 4:45pm

      Absolutely right anamika. Yaa, they are pulling us down, moreover they are degrading themselves

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      • unsaid words

        September 10, 2016 at 5:14pm

        Yeah ,even if I can’t decorate words or anything ,I ll learn over the time but thr must be something good abt my writing too but she totally ignored it and just kept pointing my flaws 🙁

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        • Author

          Akhila

          September 10, 2016 at 9:53pm

          Don’t worry..just think, how bad it will affect her as she made the comments in an open forum

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          • unsaid words

            September 10, 2016 at 9:54pm

            Yeah I don’t worry akhila ,you remember my “only opponent” poem ,that was for same reason 🙂 .I believe in improving myself from myself

          • Author
  16. sudershana

    September 10, 2016 at 4:12pm

    Positive comments appreciates and encourages the writer to write more ! If we can make someone happy with our few words , I don’t think there is any harm . But yes, some people think being offensive made them popular or may be they grab some attention that’s not true your few words may demoralize someone that’s not acceptable at any cost !
    Good deed

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 4:31pm

      Thanks sudershana..you summarized my post…

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  17. kiranmag

    September 10, 2016 at 5:28pm

    Never my habit to poke anyone☺ …unless someone pokes me beyond my limits.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 10, 2016 at 9:41pm

      True kiran..that’s the best alwAys…

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  18. Mann

    September 10, 2016 at 5:39pm

    Inner positivity reflects in our words…

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  19. Author
  20. Author

    Akhila

    September 10, 2016 at 9:48pm

    There is another side to this…if you are positive, you will feel all around you also to be positive

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  21. Author

    Akhila

    September 10, 2016 at 10:06pm

    See, i am not worried if i am the impacted zones….but worried on some other impacted zones

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    • Josh

      September 10, 2016 at 10:06pm

      Compassion I can understand that! 🙂

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  22. writeshefali

    September 11, 2016 at 12:46am

    A thoughtful post… I have often wondered why people have to use foul words n resort to harsh criticism… There is always a way to say things n criticism can also be worded without actually pulling someone down…but I guess some just don’t have basic sense…I usually don’t rise to the bait n retort back with more sweetness…

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 11, 2016 at 8:42am

      Thanks shefali. I am glad that we share the same feeling, and as you said, i too have control over my temper..

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  23. girlsgetting20

    September 11, 2016 at 11:50am

    or instead of negative post why cant we just leave a smily 🙂 on that post …
    also for reply of such thought , coz for me nothing is more effective than a smile…. it could mean ignorance or satisfaction or both at a same time.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 11, 2016 at 8:12pm

      Ya…a smiley could be always better than responding in the same frequency

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  24. Smruti Bodhi

    September 11, 2016 at 1:07pm

    Affirmative comments leads to better production of good posts… it doesn’t cost to be nice so I don’t understand why people behave the opposite.
    Anyway… nice post, people should read this.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 11, 2016 at 8:10pm

      Thanks smruthi…i am really glad with your words. May be , they are simply making their inner frustration out

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      • Smruti Bodhi

        September 12, 2016 at 1:54am

        Hmm… in my field it has a term called ‘displacement’. Hurt souls try to seek peace by hurting others… stupid, but reality.

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        • Author

          Akhila

          September 14, 2016 at 3:33pm

          Ya..there is a fact in your displacement theory ..and it’s all person dependent

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  25. Nisthur Anadi

    September 11, 2016 at 4:15pm

    We can only give what we have, if somebody is offensive, that means he or she owns nothing but hurt deeply and sharing the same with the world.

    We can be compassionate for them empathize with them.

    May God fill them with love and compassion so that they can share abundance of same.

    Now something out of context,

    Nobody can hurt you without your consent.
    People can hurt us physically but not on emotional ground. It’s more about how we perceive them . We can be compassionate and ignore them or get hurt with their offensive attack.

    Here being short term memory as you said is boon .

    This makes you even more successful as a blogger, as I had quoted that you can handle toddler and older one with equal grace.

    Hats off to you as blogger.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 11, 2016 at 8:02pm

      Thanks for your intellectual reply..infact i feel pity on such offensive comments..they are not knowing how badly themselves are projected in front of this open world

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      • Nisthur Anadi

        September 11, 2016 at 8:07pm

        We can’t expect everybody to be good , it’s not possible indeed , solution to this problem doesn’t lies in them but in the self.

        Ignoring them , can be one more option I believe.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      September 14, 2016 at 3:38pm

      Absolutely right…difference of opinion should be expressed in a mature way…

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  26. Author

    Akhila

    September 11, 2016 at 8:06pm

    Yaa..i agree with you on those who comment just for the sake..and ignorance is the best way to handle the other group of people..

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  27. Author

    Akhila

    September 14, 2016 at 2:35pm

    Ya…noted your absence many a times…

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    • Shivangi

      September 14, 2016 at 7:10pm

      My son started kindergarten and I have been very busy lately planning other things too…That’s why took a little break. How have you been?

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      • Author

        Akhila

        September 14, 2016 at 9:01pm

        I’m fine shivangi…ya..this is a new stage not only in your kid’s life but yours also..so just enjoy

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    • Author

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