Polygamy

Why do people insist on Ekapathi (single husband for a woman) while Ekapathni (single wife for a man) is not emphasised..? Yes, there could be exceptions; still polygyny is prevalent.

Polygyny was permitted in many places at one time. When the population of women was exceeding than that of men (due to war and all), polygyny was permitted, in order to save the female generation from prostitution and poverty.

But now the conditions have changed, we are not living in that dark era.  Still the rules haven’t altered. Polygayny is permitted in many countries even now.

They will preach for ‘Ekpathi vratha’ (single husband for a woman) while engaging themselves with many women. They are least bothered on the sentiments of their wives. Even those people who support polygyny will raise their voice against polyandry.

So ultimately they know the ethical aspect behind that. Or at least they are aware of the danger behind that. Or they can’t bear even the thought of sharing their woman.

It is not like, ‘if polygynyy is there, polyandry should also be there’. It is not a matter of seeking liberation for women. Both cases should be controlled, for ensuring a healthy social life.

Okay, I mentioned about the ethical aspect. But I know that, there is no point in speaking such ethics in front of the people supporting this polygamous animalistic behaviour. So all I can state is, you can do that as long as you are not hurting your partner. Or else, why do you want a partner/soul-mate in such a case…all are your partners, no.. ;). And you are just helping the nation to have many more citizens in a short span of time (9 women can give birth to 9 kids in 9 months’ time while one women can have only one kid in the same span ) ..  oh ! It’s such an unselfish profit.. …

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Translated version of  my yesterdays post ബഹുഭാര്യാത്വം

About

The author is a Quality Analyst by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at https://wordsandnotion.com and https://qualitynotion.com/.

One thought on “Polygamy

  1. A

    October 29, 2016 at 9:09am

    Misogyny what else .. patriarchal society and it’s rules

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  2. Aritri

    October 29, 2016 at 9:34am

    This is well said. We really don’t need polygamy. Every man for their one woman.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      November 5, 2016 at 8:16pm

      Yes..true, but what can be done is he is just looking for his own pleasure

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  3. shreyans

    October 29, 2016 at 11:27am

    misinterpreting the religious notions, and ego of certain men are the reasons for this cruel practice. should be stopped. Glad that the govt banned tripple talakh this year, hope that more reforms will be made to ensure equality. nice post

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 29, 2016 at 12:24pm

      ya.. another version of gender inequality..

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        • Author

          Akhila

          October 29, 2016 at 12:25pm

          what if it was a world with female priority on marriages..

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          • shreyans

            October 29, 2016 at 12:44pm

            i didnt get you…it is equality what we desire.. not dominance of one over other..be it male or female..what say

          • Author

            Akhila

            October 29, 2016 at 1:00pm

            exactly…my point was, since now it being a patriarchal society, females dont have much choices. And the situation will be just reversed , even more dangerous if polyandry was promoted.. may be that’s the reason…

          • shreyans

            October 29, 2016 at 1:19pm

            Yes true…polygamy should be stopped..nothing else should be promoted..that is i think is the best solution

  4. ecstacy49

    October 29, 2016 at 12:55pm

    I guess one man.. One women too. Life is full of desires, not necessary of fulfilling all your wishes. Relatable to the topic, People are busy proving what women can do, why can’t they see men were made for what women can’t do and women were made for what men can’t do. Gender equality also stands in between. One should see with the eyes of each gender and their perspective.

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      Akhila

      October 29, 2016 at 2:06pm

      exactly…it all lies in the male dominant nature…the way society is tuned to..

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  5. Bikramjit

    October 29, 2016 at 1:18pm

    The question is how do we know the other does not exist.. I am sure people have researched aboit how men have more women.. but no one probably has done the other way round..

    If we open our eyes and look one can find the other side too may not be in thay many numbers I agree.. but exists
    . It does. ..

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 29, 2016 at 2:07pm

      hmm.. thinking in the other way…i am not against your views..

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  6. jacquelineobyikocha

    October 29, 2016 at 5:00pm

    One man, one wife , One woman, one husband QED!

    You are invited to my Blog-O-Ween taking place right now. Some ghouls are waiting 🙂

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 30, 2016 at 1:26pm

      Thanks jacque…definitely i will check your blog soon

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  7. novelistbaba

    October 29, 2016 at 10:11pm

    what i think is, there should not be any such boundary at all. If there is mutual consent, nothing should be taboo, and where there is a breach of trust, everything should be crime. And, i mean that for any gender couple.
    Great post, these questions need to be raised and discussed. 🙂

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 30, 2016 at 12:27pm

      Ah…i can understand what you are trying to convey…it’s all person dependent .

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  8. Mithai Mumblezz

    October 30, 2016 at 1:12pm

    One man to one woman!!
    That is what I believe in.
    Besides, more the people, more the complication!! :p

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  10. Ashik T M

    October 30, 2016 at 8:39pm

    This topic also drives towards open marriages for sexual satisfaction

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 31, 2016 at 8:27am

      Hmm…afterall who is bothered on her thoughts…the sad reality

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  11. spandanchavan

    October 31, 2016 at 12:56am

    Polygamy or polyandry both are unethical and there should be a rule to stop this practices unless special cases like when people gets divorced or their partners are expired at an early stage of their married life..

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 31, 2016 at 8:17am

      Ya…it’s high time to hve that rule in place

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  12. 2ndhalfolife

    October 31, 2016 at 1:48am

    It’s because most societies now are male dominated with male Gods. If we look back to the Goddess oriented societies, you would find this very different. Women were revered and took male lovers, they were honored and the wise woman of the villages. They held the key to birth, health, herbs and other secrets. When patriarchy came blundering in, many beautiful things were destroyed.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      October 31, 2016 at 8:12am

      Ya…and it will exist as long as we are living in a male dominant world

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  13. tingleurtastebuds

    November 2, 2016 at 5:07pm

    Akhila I stay in Nairobi, Kenya where polygamy is permitted. I still wonder why do people want so many wives. In this world lot of things men are allowed to do rather than women. It is wrong when they do it. As you have said the point of soul mate will never exists in the case of polygamy, it is like cheating all of them.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      November 5, 2016 at 8:18pm

      I donno how i missed to reply you. You are right, i too believe it to be a cheating act

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  14. Shilpa Mary Cherian

    November 2, 2016 at 7:36pm

    Loved it! Women demand equality, not superiority!
    “To prevent them from prostitution and poverty”- There are two reasons why women choose to become prostitutes: poverty and men in need! After all these years, did polygamy limit poverty? Did they limit prostitution?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      November 3, 2016 at 11:08am

      ya.. nothing can prevent polygamy when there are men looking for it.. in this patriarchal world, it is pretty difficult to have an end to that..

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  16. arv!

    November 17, 2016 at 10:28pm

    Some people /societies continue to live in their own time! Well it suits their agenda! Time to change…

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  17. finnegandaley

    February 25, 2017 at 10:17am

    There may possibly be a biological explanation for the prevalence of polygyny over polyandry as well. Specifically, creatures (including humans) instinctively protect and nurture their own offspring. A woman always knows whether a child is hers or not, the man almost always assumes a child is his if married to the woman. That’s always been my outlook, in the three times I’ve been married (please note I am a much better father than husband!).

    To project into a situation I’ve never been in, I can assume that if a man is married to multiple women, he would feel compelled to take care of all the children. If, on the other hand, he is one of several husbands, his stake in the matter is much less compelling. The woman would have various benefits from having multiple men around, but devoted child rearing is probably not one of them.

    So if you assume that one of the primary motives of a marriage is to provide an environment to raise children, monogamy would be the clear winner, polygyny the next (in cases of mismatches between numbers of men and women), and polyandry a distant third.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      February 26, 2017 at 10:52pm

      Daisy it’s not a history lesson..it’s happening in many places even now..

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      • Daisy in the Willows

        February 26, 2017 at 11:05pm

        Wow. Sorry I meant it was a lesson in social ethics, society and history. There should be no need for it now. Xx

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  18. gserpent

    February 25, 2017 at 6:27pm

    I touch on this slightly in my work. The main reason you are taught this is obviously patriarchy, but they have known a secret that they have hidden from the masses. That secret is that the bloodline runs through the female. The ancients knew this and a king or pharaoh could not rule unless he was wed to a women of the royal bloodline. This is why they let the male (king or pharaoh) marry and have several partners, but the queens, for the most part, had the one husband. The bloodline ran through her. The patriarchs enforced this on everyone.

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  19. Prajakta

    February 26, 2017 at 2:49am

    I think these practices still exist in today’s time to actually shadow pervertedness. I am not questioning the beginning of these practices. may be in some places they were logical. But I don’t think the logic applies in today’s time

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    • Author

      Akhila

      February 27, 2017 at 2:29pm

      You are right.. It’s being followed as someone doesn’t want to stop it

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  21. davekingsbury

    February 27, 2017 at 4:28am

    No tradition should be accepted without question. Interesting piece.

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    Akhila

    February 27, 2017 at 2:26pm

    Just keeping all those moral aspects aside, it definitely will have got some bad influence on the children. Ultimately they are only suffering from their birth

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    • Jackie Jain

      March 10, 2017 at 8:43pm

      Yes. That’s very true Akhila. Bad influence is on children for sure. Society is suffering from such issues. .

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  23. thewritewomanblog

    February 27, 2017 at 5:24pm

    Just read an article yesterday – Iraq toys with polygamy as a solution for war widows – this makes sense and is the only practical solution to the many women who are left with no husband, no roof above their head, no income and many children in an insecure nation. The heartbreaking story of ‘The Water Wives of Maharashtra’ is another story altogether.
    Otherwise, polygamy can only be defined as man’s greed to reign and own more than one woman.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      February 28, 2017 at 9:51pm

      Ya..infact there could be many justifiable reasons behind this.. But it’s disheartening when happening on betrayal grounds

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  24. crashingstone

    February 27, 2017 at 11:46pm

    Polygamy or polyandry is fine but just not allowed once the institution of marriage is set.. Coz that’s the whole point when u take oaths of being with one another for rest of your lives, but then since divorces are so rampant these days I think the situation will surely change

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    • Author

      Akhila

      February 28, 2017 at 10:01pm

      Can we really relate these two, polygamy and increased divorce rate…i dont think so..

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      • crashingstone

        February 28, 2017 at 10:08pm

        Well d two can be related if for a second u look at polygamy without the institution of marriage.. Plus infidelity is one of the most common reasons given for divorces.. It’s all about freedom of choices.. Once u break out of the societal dogma u can achieve that but for time being it seems a distant dream atleast in India

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        • Author

          Akhila

          March 1, 2017 at 9:42am

          Well, if so why these people wanna get married at the first place

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          • crashingstone

            March 1, 2017 at 1:13pm

            Well love isn’t the primary factor for marriage these days isn’t it!

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          • Beparvah !!

            March 1, 2017 at 1:18pm

            only to fulfill their own parochial self interests… I feel ashamed very often whenever come across such incidents which unfortunately occurs almost every day !!

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  26. Laura Zabala

    May 23, 2017 at 10:39pm

    My two cents. If a group of people love each other and respect one another, are engaging in consensual polyamory – then their wish should be respected. If no one is getting hurt and they do well in that situation why restrict them from making it official? Whether it be multiple husbands, wives, or whatever. Of course, this is entirely grounded in my western perspective and I do not presume to understand the cultural motivations behind such arrangements in other places. Mind you, it being consensual, not forced, is the key component in regards to my being okay with it. Otherwise, I think it is no good.

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  27. Laura Zabala

    May 28, 2017 at 7:41am

    Thank you, the fact that you brought up the discussion and various people are weighing in on the matter is great. Having an open dialogue helps with understanding other perspectives. I hope things get better for families dealing with these issues.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      May 28, 2017 at 12:11pm

      Yup..perspectives vary from people to people..and when listening them, actually we are making a way for our mind to understand different views

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