Secret agenda behind the helping hands

help

“How helpful she is! “.

“He only paid the entire hospital bills. How great he is!”

You might have heard these kinds of conversations. Have you wondered thinking about the greatness of that helper?

But before judging their greatness, have a keen eye upon their helpful deeds.

In this self centered world, there is very little chance to be helped sincerely without a hidden motive in the helper’s mind. You may disagree with me wearing the shoe of a genuine helper. So obviously exceptions are there. But now let us think on those helping hands who have some secret agenda behind them.

Yes, it is there, whether you realize it or not. There is a secret agenda behind almost every helping hand.

And the most evil thing is when someone makes you believe that ‘you are helped by them while in fact he/she hasn’t played any role at all’.

What could be the motive of those helping hands.. .

  • With a little investment, they are looking for fame.
  • A give and take policy, even if the ‘take’ may be at a later point of time.
  • Hiding their own great benefits while portraying the service to others.

The first two are not that harmful. And the most trickster aspect is the last one. People will try to seek their own benefits under the impression of a helping hand. And they will be marketing themselves very tactically such that all around you will be deeply impressed with their help. They pretend as if they are servicing you, but there will be a hidden motive of self service.

Once we realize this, feel so much irritated with their help. And do you know how difficult it is to escape from their helping hand?

Personally I don’t like to be helped unless and otherwise no other options in front of me. There are two things which pull me back from being helped. First thing is the secret agenda of helping hand and secondly I don’t like to be dependent, cutting my wings.

About

The author is a Quality Assurance professional by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at http://wordsandnotion.com and http://qualitynotion.com/.

One thought on “Secret agenda behind the helping hands

    • Author

      Akhila

      April 22, 2016 at 9:40am

      Thanks Sakthi.. Won’t you try to escape from such hands..?

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      • Sakthi

        April 22, 2016 at 9:42am

        It’s hard to guess to be honest! Maybe it’s better to stick with limit if we find such a hands!

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 22, 2016 at 9:40am

      Yes.. Experiences taught me.. Didn’t you have any such dilemmas..?

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        • Author

          Akhila

          April 22, 2016 at 9:45am

          Yes.. at times I keep smiling seeing these kinds of helping hands. How pity they are as they don’t know that we understood their game.. he he..

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  1. Geetha B

    April 22, 2016 at 12:02pm

    I see your point but there are truly helping hands. I’ve known many and am thankful for them. I think it is sad both to believe like a gullible fool in evil disguised as good and to see cunning and evil where there isn’t any or to be broken beyond recognition of true kindness.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 22, 2016 at 4:10pm

      Thank you. I’m glad to know that there is still true kindness. Have a good day

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  2. Amrita

    April 23, 2016 at 4:10am

    Hmm.. I can relate to every word you wrote. I’ve learned to help when asked ( that too if it comes from within) and take help when you’ve given your all and still stuck.
    I don’t know how, but, there are so many moments when the Cosmos sent people (strangers) to get me out things I was stuck. This fills me with

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 23, 2016 at 10:19am

      Thanks amritha. .I understand. We can believe that there are still some good people around us send by God

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  3. Amrita

    April 23, 2016 at 4:11am

    **continue.. This fills me with Gratitude.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 23, 2016 at 9:59am

      Thanks Amritha. .I think you are also undergoing the same situation.

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  4. Nitin

    April 23, 2016 at 5:58am

    A harsh reality of life. But true.

    PS – Please refollow me by clicking on my avatar. I got a new domain but it’s in limbo for now. Lost many of the posts too. THanks 🙂

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 23, 2016 at 9:06am

      Oh..you also face these experiences. .how Will you tackle it?

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  5. davekingsbury

    April 23, 2016 at 8:01pm

    I like to trust people until they give me cause not to – better than not trusting them until they prove they can be trusted.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 24, 2016 at 5:10pm

      Hmm..that’s a good thought. Have a good day.

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  6. benrattle

    April 25, 2016 at 10:07am

    No such thing as altruism…Even when we think we’re being selfless we’re probably basking in the self satisfied glow of having done a good deed!
    Damn humanity. Urgh. Think I need a shower.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 26, 2016 at 7:34am

      Ha. Nice thinking. Yes at times I too feel the selfishness behind my own selfless thoughts

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 26, 2016 at 6:54am

      Thanks friend, I am blessed with your words. how are you doing?

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      • Beparvah !!

        April 26, 2016 at 7:03am

        Am started taking lectures in Calcutta university.. And preparing for the exam… And getting habituated with the pain !!
        You know what I mean…
        Btw I tried what you said, sitting on the floor help at times..

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        • Author

          Akhila

          April 26, 2016 at 7:21am

          Glad to hear From you. Happy to know that you are engaged with university. Take care friend

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          • Beparvah !!

            April 26, 2016 at 7:27am

            Thank you so much friend!
            This word means a lot to me 🙂
            Pls tc :)!

  7. mukhamani

    April 27, 2016 at 6:47am

    I really don’t know if it is correct to think there is a secret agenda behind a helping hand. We too help people in whatever way we can. And I don’t think I have a secret agenda behind my actions. A very interesting post. I believe there are as many opinions as there are people. Regards

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 27, 2016 at 6:59am

      I am Glad to read your reply. And I liked your perspective about thinking of oneself in the situation.

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  8. pins & ashes

    May 3, 2016 at 7:02pm

    Help without care of getting back.. But as you said, it is a selfish and moreover a self centred world.. We need to be careful and think about the intentions of people who cone forth to offer help! That said there are enough and more good helping hands 🙂

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    • Author

      Akhila

      May 4, 2016 at 3:38am

      yes.. we need to be careful..thanks for commenting..

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  9. myheartbeats4ublog

    May 14, 2016 at 6:09pm

    True, dependency stunts your growth….but secret agenda….hmmm, suspicious mind…well elucidated thoughts. Ma’am

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  10. K. Bellamy with a Purpose

    August 11, 2016 at 4:41am

    There are people in this world who help and offer help without wanting or asking for anything in return, except a genuine smile, which equates to LOVE.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      August 11, 2016 at 9:03am

      yeah.. that genuine smile is there with a few species only.. thanks..

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  11. Useful help | Words and Notion

    August 16, 2016 at 10:31am

    […] is just a show off type. But there are cases when we oversee it. Even if we didn’t have any secret agenda behind the helping hands, we miss to shape it in a better form. Or rather we don’t ensure the quality of the help given. […]

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  12. Author

    Akhila

    October 19, 2016 at 10:08pm

    Hey, how do you manage to catch this old post

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    • Author
  13. Shweta Suresh

    April 8, 2017 at 9:35am

    Ithu pazhe post aano? This showed up in my reader now. Valare sathyam aanu. There are people who genuinely help others and then there are the fake ones. How do we know the genuine ones? It’s really hard. Better to ask help only when there’s no other alternative and that too from people you can truly trust. Alle? Allathe enghane manassilakkum whether their intentions are good or not??

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 8, 2017 at 3:10pm

      This is an old post shweta. I reposted it. Its difficult yo understand the genuine helping hands. And you it’s more difficult to escape from those fake hands. They won’t leave you without creating an impression of a helper.

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  14. mathias sager

    April 8, 2017 at 9:37am

    Well described. Although it sounds a bit negative, I fully agree! We live in a transactional world, rarely somebody is really independent / self-sufficient, unfortunately! Examples are marriages for economic rather than romantic reasons, family bonds that break because of even small money issues, etc.. I like your determination to help yourself in a self-responsible way; strong! All the best!

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 8, 2017 at 3:13pm

      Thanks Mathias. Yes, its about a negative aspect of the self centred world…

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  15. boundlessblessingsblog

    April 8, 2017 at 9:53am

    Well written Akhila and for sure u will find such people along your way who r very selfish and squeeze u of everything in life so one has to be careful.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 8, 2017 at 3:17pm

      Yes. Its damn difficult to escape from such people even when we deny their help. Their whole intention is to create an image of a helping hand. But it won’t be genuine

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  16. Sarah

    April 8, 2017 at 9:59am

    I agree, people are nowadays self-serving. I’d rather struggle to be independent and enjoy my fruits later than listen to someone saying were it not for him/her I would not have this or the other.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 8, 2017 at 3:25pm

      Exactly. You reflect my words. Why should we hear unnecessary fake words..

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  17. Jeni G.J

    April 8, 2017 at 10:19am

    I think people stopped to help each other. Every one is busy in their own lives. To help is a selfless act and if people are turning it into a selfish act, it’s not a good sign for humanity.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 8, 2017 at 3:26pm

      Obviously it’s not a Good sign.. We can’t expect any selfless acts..

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      • Jeni G.J

        April 8, 2017 at 3:31pm

        But help is a help. I’m happy to get any help and grateful for it. I don’t mind what’s the behind it and will feel sorry for them if it backfires.

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        • Author

          Akhila

          April 8, 2017 at 3:36pm

          Good then.. But still the motives are least appreciable

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          • Jeni G.J

            April 8, 2017 at 3:37pm

            I know you’ll tell this and that’s why I commented like that..

          • Author
          • Author
          • Jeni G.J

            April 8, 2017 at 3:41pm

            Ha ha..you’ll never know..may be you can write that too..let’s see.

          • Author
          • Jeni G.J

            April 8, 2017 at 3:50pm

            I’m planning to start a challenge on my blog. Actually I just thought of it. You can try participating there.

          • Jeni G.J

            April 8, 2017 at 3:57pm

            If I can write,you can definitely write.

          • Author
  18. kawsreflections

    April 8, 2017 at 6:30pm

    Beautiful!! I love it. So much truth in what you write. Thanks for sharing it with us!

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  19. 2ndhalfolife

    April 9, 2017 at 12:35am

    It is a sad thing that you think that most givers have an ulterior motive. I would like to think the times I have offered to give something that this is not the case…that I am honestly just trying to be kind…

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 9, 2017 at 2:54pm

      It’s so good then..I know there is little bit negativity in that post..and I am not blindly saying that all are alike. There are exceptions too..

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  20. Shaggy

    April 9, 2017 at 12:25pm

    The people who don’t take generally, never give……
    Help is something we all need, day to day….. Doesn’t mean you are weak….
    Besides, the whole world is the give and take, what’s wrong with it??
    Asking for help and helping someone is the best way of cementing relationship…….
    Who helps without expectations?? Without motives, doesn’t mean they aren’t good people……
    If I did something for you I do want a return favour!! I dont get what’s wrong in it??

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    • Author
        • Author

          Akhila

          April 10, 2017 at 11:02am

          Oh..never..actually it’s good to read different perspectives

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  21. thewritewomanblog

    April 9, 2017 at 2:54pm

    This post reminds me of a friend who sang praises for my blog one fine morning. She said so many wonderful things that I started wondering if she was mocking my work. However, it just turned out that she needed a favor and knowing my passion for writing, she chose to help me ‘boost’ my confidence with her mockery of a praise.
    However, there are wonderful people out there in this world who help without awarding him/her with a brownie point for the action. Most of these people have achieved greatness and almost always have shun the limelight and instead remained modest and opted to influence others to follow the actions.
    For me the first name would always be Dr. Devi Shetty whom I directly correlate to God himself.
    Saint Mother Teresa being another great soul. Even among us there are many who do their bit and vanish off into thin air without as much as expecting a ‘Thank You’ for their actions.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 9, 2017 at 2:57pm

      Yes, there are people who don’t wait for any recognitions.. They do their part and disappear.. Even at the same time, i feel pity on those people who try to create an impression of a helper

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  22. skd

    April 9, 2017 at 8:06pm

    Trust with intelligent evaluation! Here we consider only our level of helping hand towards us. There you have the choice. However there are choice-less souls (majority). In such cases, we need to view this topic with wider perspective! Anyways, good trigger Akhila.

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    • Author
  23. Moushmi Radhanpara

    April 9, 2017 at 9:54pm

    You are absolutely correct.
    In this self centered world we can surely not rely on the helpers who may just seem to us as selfless.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 10, 2017 at 11:09am

      Thanks moushmi. Happy that we are in the same boat

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  24. kalyansparks

    April 9, 2017 at 11:17pm

    I also faced these kind of things,I am always afraid to ask help.Because I faced some bad situations in past.People do one rupee help and ask us hundred rupee help.if we don’t do,they will spread negativity on us.And sometimes they do very small help but for getting some name in society They add some bad things on us and tell to people.( this happened with my parents,but unfortunately he is my own family member,soo we can’t blame him)That’s why I am scared to take help even from my family ,because Sometimes that take advantage,and we can’t say no,though it’s illegal!!!!! Thanks for sharing

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  25. Maniparna Sengupta Majumder

    April 10, 2017 at 1:32am

    Harsh reality. Only a few, a very few people on earth are selfless and help others without any expectation or ulterior motives…

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 10, 2017 at 12:20pm

      Yup.. Actually I don’t think it to be their fault, it’s the way they are programmed to live in this self centred world. What bothers me is how to escape from their fake helping hands

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  26. Author
  27. theonlysup

    April 10, 2017 at 11:26am

    its wrong to expect that help should be selfless act these days.if you are taking help ,return it with thanks in your own way.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 10, 2017 at 12:28pm

      Yes, its wrong to expect as you said.. My point was how to escape from them..its really awkward for me..sometimes you know, they won’t let you go without being helped as they planned..ughhh…

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      • theonlysup

        April 10, 2017 at 12:39pm

        i donot like to take help like that ..i politely decline them..

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        • Author

          Akhila

          April 10, 2017 at 1:02pm

          some emotional bonds make us helpless..but I agree that we need to decline it in the best way possible

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          • theonlysup

            April 10, 2017 at 1:04pm

            i have faced these situations too.. but believe me sometimes some hard decisions are necessary ..

          • Author
  28. Genuinelyellie

    April 11, 2017 at 1:48am

    This was a very interesting outlook! I look forward to reading more of your posts 🙂

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  29. Mithai Mumblezz

    April 11, 2017 at 9:25am

    Yep. There’s always a motive. I always stay away from too helpful and sweet people. They literally change colors like chameleon.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      April 11, 2017 at 9:53am

      Thank you. Identifying this chameleon is not a big deal for me, but keeping myself away from them is really a big issue

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