Reluctant to ask..why?

I don’t mind helping you in the best way I can, but I am reluctant to ask for your help though I know that there are people who even like it. (Without having any Secret agenda behind the helping hands )

Have you tried to figure out the reasons behind this reluctance..? Or are you of the other type, ‘no worries to be helped’?

How to ask for what you need is an art. Being in a people driven world, we can’t live in isolation. So earlier the better if one can learn that art. We need to know the reason behind this reluctance, and then only one can decide whether to overcome it or not

So what do you think? Is it due to a thought arising from any of these attitudes?

  • No favour please
  • It’s obligatory
  • Can’t be burden for you
  • I am perfectionist, don’t like the way you do
  • Afraid of the judgemental reaction from others
  • Worried upon exposing my inability
  • My ego
  • Afraid of being confused further after the help
  • Fear of being rejected


The author is a Quality Analyst by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at and

One thought on “Reluctant to ask..why?

  1. mathias sager

    April 20, 2017 at 10:10am

    I’m reluctant to ask for help sometimes because if I genuinely return the favor, I’m afraid of causing a feeling of obligation to the other person to reciprocate again. However, thinking again, we should probably just ask more for help as indeed many people like helping very much! Great post, thanks

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    • Author


      April 20, 2017 at 12:23pm

      Thanks a lot Mathias. You reflect my voice in that feeling of obligation..

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  2. boundlessblessingsblog

    April 20, 2017 at 11:52am

    Hmmm sometimes ego comes into play and then we would not want to do anything for anyone. Great words Akhila.

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  3. Author
  4. Jeni G.J

    April 20, 2017 at 1:15pm

    It’s like I know I can do it myself. So I won’t use you for my need. If I can’t do it myself, I’ll definitely ask you a favour.

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    • Author


      April 24, 2017 at 2:36pm

      Hmm.. good then.. you are free of that reluctance..

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  5. Colors of my life

    April 20, 2017 at 5:26pm

    In my case, I love to do things myself, unless and until I am fully exhausted. I love to research about a given task.

    Like these days, my wife want kitchen cabinets. I have no issue in buying, and we went as well.

    But I don’t know what stuck me, I said, I want to make by myself. So these days, learning myself how to do woodworking and doing things.

    So that’s another angle, it’s not ego or I can’t do it. I want to do it, that I don’t want your help.

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    • Author


      April 24, 2017 at 2:38pm

      Welll..that’s a powerful notion..I really appreciate that learning mentality

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    • Author


      April 24, 2017 at 2:41pm

      Mm.. why should we make others in trouble in both cases..

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  6. Shweta Suresh

    April 20, 2017 at 8:18pm

    I believe that some of those can be the reason why many people hesitate to ask for help or favour of any kind..

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  7. Meenakshi Sethi

    April 21, 2017 at 1:30am

    I can’t be a burden on others and also I feel shy but my daughter is helping me change this attitude.

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  8. mywords331

    April 21, 2017 at 7:05am

    It is really an art and this reluctance is in most of ours behaviour.
    But yes earlier the better..
    We should learn this art.

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    • Author


      April 24, 2017 at 2:43pm

      Thanks neha. So you too think that we should learn this art..hmm..

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  9. DARKLOVE9095

    April 21, 2017 at 5:41pm

    Worried upon exposing my inability and I might get confused just after hearing the solution….

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  10. Shweta Suresh

    April 24, 2017 at 8:51pm

    Enitt full explanation provide cheyyunna reasons kandu pidicho? 😉 😀

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  11. Shweta Suresh

    April 25, 2017 at 11:25am

    Ohhh oru single reason illathond aayirikkum. I believe the reason or reasons will differ from person to person. Athukond kore reason + oru etc might be the best answer. 😉 😀

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    • Author
      • Shweta Suresh

        April 25, 2017 at 11:48am

        Athu kond nammuk etc ennu vilikaam. 😉 Oru survey nadathiyal answers kittumayirikkumo?

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