May I come now Ma’am?

Ma’am, the token of respect makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t like to be called Ma’am or Madam. Well, except in some hotels or offices or with strangers, we might have to use and hear that. I know it’s just a polite term and nothing to do with one’s status or age. It never makes me feel old, but it makes me odd with some sort of discomfort on hearing certain people calling me Ma’am

In my apartment, the cleaning staffs used to call me Ma’am. They were of my mother’s age and so it was a kind of uneasiness for me. Still I couldn’t ask them to change it.

Yesterday morning during some causal talks, one of those cleaning staffs addressed me ‘mole’ [daughter] and I was so pleased to hear that. Now I know what was causing me distress on hearing her calling me Ma’am. Hope she won’t call me Ma’am anymore.

About

The author is a Quality Assurance professional by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at http://wordsandnotion.com and http://qualitynotion.com/.

One thought on “May I come now Ma’am?

  1. Sha'Tara

    December 28, 2017 at 12:27am

    It does seem to age one, doesn’t it. I usually interrupt immediately and insist I be called “Sha’Tara” even if people have trouble with that, always wanting to know what nationality it is!!! Some say, it’s African, isn’t it. Others, how did you get an Indian (from India) name! And know what? I always agree with them. With that name I come from all sorts of interesting places I could never claim to be from otherwise. So, tell them to call you Akhila, that is such a beautiful name, and it’s not difficult to say, is it?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 3, 2018 at 6:02pm

      Haha.. thanks a lot shatara…actually most of the times we are in the same boat though unaware of the nationality…I don’t think it to matter to consider at all…

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  2. Sha'Tara

    December 28, 2017 at 12:28am

    This time, I’m not “verifying” my “follow” and see what happens! 🙂

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  3. Ravi S

    December 28, 2017 at 12:49am

    oh I didn’t realize it may not be appreciated by few. I address some of them here as Ma’dam, now I am wondering whether I am hurting them thru my respect?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 3, 2018 at 6:03pm

      Haha… actually I cannot comment there..it depends Ravi…

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  4. Reflection of Observer

    December 28, 2017 at 1:56am

    I felt same always in ma daily life .some people calling sir or chetten or Sab or Annan .Sometimes i corrected them to call me name .If same age level people call me chetten ,I try to tell call me da/poda/name.☺️.

    I like da/poda/name than sir and chetten☺️☺️

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  5. rishhu

    December 28, 2017 at 6:15am

    Nice Thoughts. Part Humble. Part Age Conscious. Ha Ha. Getting as a daughter or a son , I agree, is very satisfying experience. But I wonder why? Hmmmmm.

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  6. Kumar Harsh

    December 28, 2017 at 9:56am

    Then how do you address the fair sex when possibly you don’t know their name?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 3, 2018 at 6:07pm

      Harsh.. with strangers we might have to deal with that ma’am or sir…I am not exception there.. or else some better words to be added in dictionary.. but I am more hurt when people of my parents age call me ma’am, maybe that’s what they are instructed…

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      • Kumar Harsh

        January 4, 2018 at 12:28pm

        Han that’s an issue. I sometimes do have to face the dilemma of calling someone of my parents age as aunty or ma’am.you never know what might offend someone.

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  7. kishanlakhotia

    December 28, 2017 at 1:17pm

    To overcome this problem we may start addressing the elder ladies as didi & the gents as brother or uncle.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      December 29, 2017 at 9:11pm

      Ah…actually reading your comment I realize that my concern was mainly when people of my parents age calling me “ma’am”. Also to address elders there are many ways I guess, as you mentioned didi or even ma’am would fit there. But the cleaning staff like People would be hesitant to call us by name even when they are too senior to us. So they shows their token of respect in the word “ma’am”… but I found it more touching when they called me “daughter” instead of their usual “ma’am”

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  8. thewritewomanblog

    January 2, 2018 at 9:01am

    That is so sweet, Akhi. I am used to it here, in this part of the world but back in Palakkad, Mole is stands. The ‘Ma’am’ or Madam revolution is yet to sweep that part of Kerala I think 😉 The problem I guess is with the age, where some one your mother’s age calls you by that.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 3, 2018 at 5:33pm

      True.. maybe I wouldn’t have that much felt to hear a ma’am in corporate sector

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  9. Hemangini

    January 2, 2018 at 10:04pm

    Isn’t that what most people expect. Most people love being called ma’m and sir. If you address them casually, its a havoc. I work in a public sector and I see this a lot. Lot of times I wonder if one can have an acutal good relation with anyone at work or any customers at all. Although, I have found some people who are like you, who don’t act all high and mighty and need not be called madam/sir. Life is better with them. Nice post Akhila. I hope more and more people be like you.

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 3, 2018 at 5:25pm

      Thanks a lot Hema…I am really touched within your words. In fact in a public sector we are much used to these ma’am and sir..though against my will…

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