Relationships.. a lot of work..???

People come and leave our life while some are glued to our hearts. It’s easy to be among strangers as there is no obligations, no demands, no expectations etc etc [Read about “The comfort while being with strangers“]. But when it’s about the glued ones, there is some sort of happiness and at the same time some sort of nervousness too.

What’s that nervousness with them..?

Is it the worries about sustaining the relationship? But does it really matter if they really understand you? Is there any extra effort required to sustain the relationship if there exists a healthy relationship?

No… so what’s that cause of uneasiness or nervousness..?

Is it fear of losing them..? Possible.. You don’t want to miss them as they have become a part of your life and it would be painful if lost them.. Oh.. So isn’t it a selfish thought?.. Like you don’t want to make yourself worried, so you want them to be with you.. hmm…

If you don’t think it to be selfishness, is there any other cause for that uneasiness?

Is it like you have to keep an image with them? ..Say like you are of the type “What others think?”

Okay, if still you think that none of the reasons matches that uneasiness, what else it could be..?

Is it like you love them, care them and trust them, but still feel lonely with them? Like they are not being there for you emotionally. You feel rejected while you were starving for their attention. You are supported neither in your highest good nor in your bad.

Is it like you are never on the same page? So while trying to be on the same page, folds and cuts appear in the page. Those marks remain forever while trying to make yourself fit in to that page, making you uncomfortable.

Is it due to the absence of comfort zone you have with them? You are not free enough to be frank in front of them or you think they don’t let you get inside their zone.

Or is it the sense of wanting to belong as posted here ? When the possessiveness comes in to picture one cannot live without expectations. You worry about the unattended emotions. You are bothered on the lack of acknowledgements.

If you could compromise all these for the sake of peace, well obviously it would be easy to maintain a relationship. But will it be an intimate one then?

So ultimately it makes one to ponder that

You need to work hard at a relationship. So there is no need of feeling down if people say ‘you are in a bad choice’ seeing you working hard.

Ultimately it’s your life and your choice. No one else is responsible for the same. Do whatever makes you happy and positive. And own whatever you do.

Thinking aloud why it should be treated as a big problem after all? Just ….

About

The author is a Quality Assurance professional by experience. Part Quantitative data analyst, part consultant for quality and information security practices, part software tester, she is a writer by passion and blogs at http://wordsandnotion.com and http://qualitynotion.com/.

One thought on “Relationships.. a lot of work..???

  1. prashantt

    January 26, 2018 at 3:25am

    Heylo!! Hws you doing,I hope you’re doing good! A very intriguing & informative post with answers simultaneously to all the questions one should have for healthy working relationships whereas the most important ingredient remains the same is trust or faith, lack of trust will make relationship goes relation shift☺

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 30, 2018 at 2:01pm

      Hey prashant.. I am all good and you?
      Coming to the post, I agree that trust and understanding is the root of every relationship

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      • prashantt

        January 30, 2018 at 8:22pm

        I am doing great & writing whenever time gives me time.
        Have a great week ahead

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  2. kishanlakhotia

    January 26, 2018 at 12:54pm

    Artificial behaviour is harmful for both host & guest. It’s always better to greet the guests naturally.

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  3. Moushmi Radhanpara

    January 27, 2018 at 4:41pm

    A wonderful take on relationships, I agree with you that in the end it is your life and your choice, no one else is responsible for the same 🙂

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    • Author

      Akhila

      January 30, 2018 at 2:14pm

      Yes moushmi.. it’s our life and our happiness…just own that

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  4. thewritewomanblog

    February 1, 2018 at 1:57pm

    A very thoughtful post, Akhi. A true relationship that you value requires you to build it with trust, love and understanding but once the base has been set I suppose everything falls into place. You need not worry about ‘pleasing’ for you will understand that other person as much as he/she does you. Is it not?

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    • Author

      Akhila

      February 3, 2018 at 10:21am

      True..if there is a strong foundation the structure would be capable enough to withstand any destructive storm..still you will have to clean it, paint it, do proper maintenances on time for the long term sustenance…isnt it

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