There is no question if said “make decisions without emotions involved”. But can that really happen? Can a decision be taken using the brain alone?

Always a choice is finalized with an emotion even while being driven by logic, sometimes more reactive and some other times less reactive.  These responses are actually the subconscious choices.  So what’s actually wrong in obeying the subconscious mind as long as the choices are not purely driven by poor emotional conclusions alone?

Of course mistakes can happen with emotionally biased quick judgments. And hence if there is no immediate danger, don’t let your emotional brain to overrule the logical brain.

Similarly a pure logical decision can mislead us in a direction opposite to our self-interests. So why not keep a little bit of emotions [ but not any quick judgments] even while being driven by rational thoughts?

Recently I read a story of a revolutionist [or I am not sure if it was a film] who wore white dresses only always. When she was about to die, she asked for a green jacket. People thought she has become crazy due to illness and ignored her wish. She died without fulfilling her wish.

She sacrificed her entire life for the wellbeing of the society and finally died as a crazy woman just because of her desire for a green jacket while being on the deathbed.

Why was she forced to suppress her entire emotions while being alive?

Why couldn’t she express her felt emotions?

Was it a part of the so called “disciplined life”?

Obviously “a green jacket” was not at all big thing.. still it was banned in her life for some reasons.

May be a conflict was happening inside her mind between felt and expressed emotions.

Finally she could express a little bit of it only when she was becoming unconscious, nearing death.

And then why did people misunderstand her when she expressed a bit of it during her final moments?

 

People come and leave our life while some are glued to our hearts. It’s easy to be among strangers as there is no obligations, no demands, no expectations etc etc [Read about “The comfort while being with strangers“]. But when it’s about the glued ones, there is some sort of happiness and at the same time some sort of nervousness too.

What’s that nervousness with them..?

Is it the worries about sustaining the relationship? But does it really matter if they really understand you? Is there any extra effort required to sustain the relationship if there exists a healthy relationship?

No… so what’s that cause of uneasiness or nervousness..?

Is it fear of losing them..? Possible.. You don’t want to miss them as they have become a part of your life and it would be painful if lost them.. Oh.. So isn’t it a selfish thought?.. Like you don’t want to make yourself worried, so you want them to be with you.. hmm…

If you don’t think it to be selfishness, is there any other cause for that uneasiness?

Is it like you have to keep an image with them? ..Say like you are of the type “What others think?”

Okay, if still you think that none of the reasons matches that uneasiness, what else it could be..?

Is it like you love them, care them and trust them, but still feel lonely with them? Like they are not being there for you emotionally. You feel rejected while you were starving for their attention. You are supported neither in your highest good nor in your bad.

Is it like you are never on the same page? So while trying to be on the same page, folds and cuts appear in the page. Those marks remain forever while trying to make yourself fit in to that page, making you uncomfortable.

Is it due to the absence of comfort zone you have with them? You are not free enough to be frank in front of them or you think they don’t let you get inside their zone.

Or is it the sense of wanting to belong as posted here ? When the possessiveness comes in to picture one cannot live without expectations. You worry about the unattended emotions. You are bothered on the lack of acknowledgements.

If you could compromise all these for the sake of peace, well obviously it would be easy to maintain a relationship. But will it be an intimate one then?

So ultimately it makes one to ponder that

You need to work hard at a relationship. So there is no need of feeling down if people say ‘you are in a bad choice’ seeing you working hard.

Ultimately it’s your life and your choice. No one else is responsible for the same. Do whatever makes you happy and positive. And own whatever you do.

Thinking aloud why it should be treated as a big problem after all? Just ….

Why should a person be punished if he or she doesn’t understand or accept his mistakes? Obviously he/she will continue with the same punished behavior behind our back.

I am trying to watch it in a broader sense, say like starting from parents punishing kids to the punishments by the court. In all cases, if one cannot understand his/her mistake, won’t it be repeated?

May be kids won’t do it in their parents presence. But definitely they will do in their parent’s absence. These punishments are just making them a little bit polite, but not moral. They may appear disciplined for a while, but not forever if they don’t understand the wrongs in their side.

Reminds me of this Malayalam song sung by Vineeth Sreenivasan in the movie Oru Vadakkan Selfie “Enne thallendammava njan nannavoola. Mandeel adiyum vare njan nannavoola” [Meaning “No need to beat me uncle, I won’t change good”]

No one would change actually if he/she is not convinced on the mistakes. Simply they may try to avoid the home of punishments. Whenever the situation changes in their favor or if they are not watched, the real nature will be exposed.

And moreover the thought ‘I am being watched’ can actually damage one’s peace, cause stress and ultimately lead to unavoidable crises.

Another point dancing in front of me right now is “If one accepts and feels guilty of his mistakes, should he/she be really punished again?” He already had the punishment of guilty feeling, so why again?

So aren’t these punishments bad weapons? Still why is it being used everywhere?

Or are these punishments showcased as a threat to the future criminals to make them beware of the consequences?

This being a world of ‘add-ons’ I feel some add-ons are required with the current punishments strategy too where in some views must be put before punishing straightaway so as to make them aware of the actual mistakes.

Otherwise what’s the use “If a criminal never regrets on what he has done”? Or otherwise either he must have some solid reasons behind the crime or he must be psychic as posted in Crime is a crime. But who cares his feeling while punishing him straightaway?