Hiding from the self

Mind turns inwards

Wearing many hats

When lost in pain.

Without letting in

Silence to break

The emotive heart,

Without letting tears

To form a stream,

The self pulls off

From the screen        

Allowing the mind

To repress the woe

The game goes on..

An emotion peeks in,

and I stop.

Feel caught in its grip,

and I stop….

Then at the epitome

Of fog of grief

Wherein the mind

Can no more hold

The cloudy eyes

The self comes back,

Sits with the fears,

Recaps all that gone,

And then let all the

Tears out in private..

Slowly the self is

Back on its feet again

Yet nervy in the divine

Temple of acceptance..

“എന്നും നിങ്ങളെന്‍റെ കൂടെയുണ്ടാവണം. എന്‍റെ കണ്ണടയുവോളും എനിക്കു നിങ്ങളെ കണ്ടുകൊണ്ടിരിക്കണം.”

ഇതൊന്നും ഞാന്‍ പറഞ്ഞതല്ല. എവിടൊക്കെയോ കേട്ടു മറന്ന ചിലതു.
ഞാനതിനെ ഒന്നൂടൊന്നു മനസ്സിരുത്തി വായിച്ചപ്പോള്‍ മറഞ്ഞിരുന്ന സ്വാര്‍ഥതയാണു കണ്ണില്പ്പെട്ടതു.

അതല്ലേ സത്യം?

എനിക്കു ജീവിക്കാന്‍ നിങ്ങളെ വേണം എന്ന അന്തര്‍ലീനമായ സത്യം. സ്വാര്‍ഥത നിറഞ്ഞ സത്യം.

——–

“Oh God, please don’t take him away from me as long as I am alive”

Such a lovely prayer, no..? What do you think..?

Here, someone is emphasizing that he/she can’t live without his/her soul-mate.

Can you see love there?

“No worries once your life is over, but what about your soul-mate? Can he/she live without you? Who will take care of him/her? Your life was safe as he/she was with you until your last breath. Now what will happen to him/her in your absence? You are least bothered on that as you are already dead. Isn’t it..? That’s why you are praying like “Oh God, please don’t take him away from me as long as I am alive”

Unfortunately my eyes could not trace the least bits of love over there. Is it not all about selfishness?

Instead I found this much thoughtful I will never get over the grief of losing you as you are my life breath. But moreover I love you and can never make you alone. So my Lord, please keep me alive atleast till his last breath so that my honey will never be alone”