I am not fooled by my expertise.

But I want to play by my own effort.

Then why do you wanna help me hurting my ego?

I don’t mind helping you in the best way I can, but I am reluctant to ask for your help though I know that there are people who even like it. (Without having any Secret agenda behind the helping hands )

Have you tried to figure out the reasons behind this reluctance..? Or are you of the other type, ‘no worries to be helped’?

How to ask for what you need is an art. Being in a people driven world, we can’t live in isolation. So earlier the better if one can learn that art. We need to know the reason behind this reluctance, and then only one can decide whether to overcome it or not

So what do you think? Is it due to a thought arising from any of these attitudes?

  • No favour please
  • It’s obligatory
  • Can’t be burden for you
  • I am perfectionist, don’t like the way you do
  • Afraid of the judgemental reaction from others
  • Worried upon exposing my inability
  • My ego
  • Afraid of being confused further after the help
  • Fear of being rejected


“How helpful she is! “.

“He only paid the entire hospital bills. How great he is!”

You might have heard these kinds of conversations. Have you wondered thinking about the greatness of that helper?

But before judging their greatness, have a keen eye upon their helpful deeds.

In this self centered world, there is very little chance to be helped sincerely without a hidden motive in the helper’s mind. You may disagree with me wearing the shoe of a genuine helper. So obviously exceptions are there. But now let us think on those helping hands who have some secret agenda behind them.

Yes, it is there, whether you realize it or not. There is a secret agenda behind almost every helping hand.

And the most evil thing is when someone makes you believe that ‘you are helped by them while in fact he/she hasn’t played any role at all’.

What could be the motive of those helping hands.. .

  • With a little investment, they are looking for fame.
  • A give and take policy, even if the ‘take’ may be at a later point of time.
  • Hiding their own great benefits while portraying the service to others.

The first two are not that harmful. And the most trickster aspect is the last one. People will try to seek their own benefits under the impression of a helping hand. And they will be marketing themselves very tactically such that all around you will be deeply impressed with their help. They pretend as if they are servicing you, but there will be a hidden motive of self service.

Once we realize this, feel so much irritated with their help. And do you know how difficult it is to escape from their helping hand?

Personally I don’t like to be helped unless and otherwise no other options in front of me. There are two things which pull me back from being helped. First thing is the secret agenda of helping hand and secondly I don’t like to be dependent, cutting my wings.

On asking a help, if you are responding inappropriately, how can I approach u again?

Or is that what you wanted, i.e I shouldn’t come again ? Then you are lost as I got your plan. 😉

She was in damn need of help when she came to me. Obviously, I supported her.  It was not at all a big deal for me. But she was a bit reluctant to make me do the same thing for her continuously, for a few days. May be due to her concern for me.. I supported her for a few days and then she tried for some other arrangements. I tried to convince her that it was not at all botheration for me. But she didn’t..

But her arrangements didn’t work properly. So she again came to me and the story continued. Infact it was a soothing moment for me..


Sometimes we are doubtful whether “it will be problematic for the helper”. Yes, it could be due to the care and concern. And at the same time it might be due to the reluctance to take that freedom from us.

Normally we seek help only from those people with whom we are free. It’s really a pleasant feeling when someone finds us supportive and approachable.

So why not make a soothing presence, add a deeper connection and become more approachable?

So the happy me, smiling… 🙂

Are you helping just for the sake?


Are you genuinely lending a hand? If yes,

Are you ensuring whether the help is in a usable form and not a show off type?

Are you ensuring whether the help offered by you was useful to the recipients?

Otherwise why do we need need to help them, just to make them obliged?

Can’t do anything if the help is just a show off type. But there are cases when we oversee it. Even if we didn’t have any secret agenda behind the helping hands, we miss to shape it in a better form. Or rather we don’t ensure the quality of the help given. If we could think or imagine ourselves to be in that recipients’ position, the help will definitely be a useful one.