Why should a person be punished if he or she doesn’t understand or accept his mistakes? Obviously he/she will continue with the same punished behavior behind our back.

I am trying to watch it in a broader sense, say like starting from parents punishing kids to the punishments by the court. In all cases, if one cannot understand his/her mistake, won’t it be repeated?

May be kids won’t do it in their parents presence. But definitely they will do in their parent’s absence. These punishments are just making them a little bit polite, but not moral. They may appear disciplined for a while, but not forever if they don’t understand the wrongs in their side.

Reminds me of this Malayalam song sung by Vineeth Sreenivasan in the movie Oru Vadakkan Selfie “Enne thallendammava njan nannavoola. Mandeel adiyum vare njan nannavoola” [Meaning “No need to beat me uncle, I won’t change good”]

No one would change actually if he/she is not convinced on the mistakes. Simply they may try to avoid the home of punishments. Whenever the situation changes in their favor or if they are not watched, the real nature will be exposed.

And moreover the thought ‘I am being watched’ can actually damage one’s peace, cause stress and ultimately lead to unavoidable crises.

Another point dancing in front of me right now is “If one accepts and feels guilty of his mistakes, should he/she be really punished again?” He already had the punishment of guilty feeling, so why again?

So aren’t these punishments bad weapons? Still why is it being used everywhere?

Or are these punishments showcased as a threat to the future criminals to make them beware of the consequences?

This being a world of ‘add-ons’ I feel some add-ons are required with the current punishments strategy too where in some views must be put before punishing straightaway so as to make them aware of the actual mistakes.

Otherwise what’s the use “If a criminal never regrets on what he has done”? Or otherwise either he must have some solid reasons behind the crime or he must be psychic as posted in Crime is a crime. But who cares his feeling while punishing him straightaway?

A woman and her parents were there in the shop when I entered. Only one sales girl was there in the shop [obviously not a big shop]. So the girl asked me if I could wait till she completes with the other three [Thank God that she didn’t ignore to greet me!]. I agreed as they were almost done with the shopping. After a few minutes they left and the sales girl helped me to pick my items.

In the meantime another man entered the shop [who appeared to be a North Indian]. Again the sales girl asked me if I could wait for a few more minutes as the man enquired about just one thing. I didn’t deny as I thought it won’t take much time for him [though I felt it to be a little unfair as just billing and payment only was left for me].

Then the owner of the shop appeared. He started billing for me. In between there happened some confusion with the other man and the sales girl. He said like he asked for four meters of the same thing [I too felt so] and she said like he asked only three meters.  Then she said like “Sir, you asked for three meters only. That’s why I cut three meters. Still its okay, I can take another meter for you”

Actually, she didn’t own her mistake, more to that she was trying to convert it as a favor being offered for him. Even though it was her mistake, she was just transferring it upon his shoulders. This is not a single incident. These kinds of behaviors are nowadays so common in shops [not only in shops alone, but everywhere around us]. They just hide their mistakes and exchange it as a favor being offered.

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Never rescue your kids from mistakes. If you do, they will just continue the same and never learn to improve. So in effect, parents are spoiling their kids by allowing them to commit the mistakes repeatedly. Instead have a protective eye, ensure their safety, warn them on the consequences, still if they are continuing with their mistakes,  let them do it. They will learn naturally from their consequences. And why not build up some harmless consequences, if they are not learning naturally..;)

And on the other side, if you are not enforcing those rules and disciplinary actions, kids will feel really bad, like you are not bothered on them.. So never hesitate to have disciplinary actions. So switch the mode very often.

I made a mistake. Next, what am I going to do?

First of all, I understood it as a mistake from my side. Then, I accept it and correct it. I also take some precautions so that it won’t recur.

Should I stop here..?

No… something more is there, which is in fact much much important and easily ignored fact.

Explain why it is found as a mistake.

This is very important, because someone else might have followed my deeds along with my mistakes. When I am accepting my mistake, he should understand why it became a mistake now. Otherwise I am paying injustice to him.

I will be learning from my mistakes, (of course if I wish only) but in addition I have to ensure that I haven’t mislead anyone. So I need to explain why it is mistake now. This “why” factor is very important.

When you are accepting and explaining the mistakes, it reveals the “BEST” in you.