Am I lost?

I can’t unwind..

I can’t find my own voice..

I am failing to reach deep within the depth of my soul..

Am I lost?

Nervy in the divine Temple of acceptance..

Hiding from the self

Mind turns inwards

Wearing many hats

When lost in pain.

Without letting in

Silence to break

The emotive heart,

Without letting tears

To form a stream,

The self pulls off

From the screen        

Allowing the mind

To repress the woe

The game goes on..

An emotion peeks in,

and I stop.

Feel caught in its grip,

and I stop….

Then at the epitome

Of fog of grief

Wherein the mind

Can no more hold

The cloudy eyes

The self comes back,

Sits with the fears,

Recaps all that gone,

And then let all the

Tears out in private..

Slowly the self is

Back on its feet again

Yet nervy in the divine

Temple of acceptance..

I am not the body

I am no longer ‘I’ in a dreamless sleep

The senses away from the mind,

The consciousness suspended

I am in a deep sleep so as in death.

Tempted to reveal my passion.. should I?

You are tempted to reveal your passion or goal. What will you do?

When I was a child, I have heard my backgrounds telling ‘Don’t share it with all.. It’s just started only and still in papers.. We donno how it’s gonna happen..It may bring in more harm if talked about the same with all now.”

My mind followed the words for long. But it was neither the fear of failure nor the horror of negative vibes that prevented me from disclosing my dream to all.  I was just keen on my baby steps driving me to a better vision and so my energy was fully upon the same and little on talking about that. That’s all. And it doesn’t mean that the whole excitement of baby steps was residing within me alone, of course it was spread all across my comfort zone.

It’s said commonly that people who talk about their dreams are less likely to accomplish them.  The reasons behind that thought could be like when they talk about them, it creates a fake accomplishment feel and so little hard work later. Or maybe they are afraid of envious eyes or negative criticism hitting on them.

If I say publicly, “I am gonna be  a writer”, how can it demotivate me. It can only drive me more as I have made it public now.. I need to prove it in front of you.. So I have to work harder and harder”

And now, what the hell is going to happen to me with those envious eyes, if any are there.. What electromagnetic waves could arise out of a jealousy mind, which are good enough to demotivate me.. So far no such waves are proven by science. Until then, I don’t have to bother about that.

If their negative criticism are strong enough to discourage me, then I am not at all fit for that goal.. or miles to go for me to stick upon my goal….

So they are not at all Cons..In a way sharing your passion is going to be advantageous.. Know how..? You are going to collect different perspectives, a lending hand if needed from your comfort zone and most importantly an extra self-emphasis on your own dream by making it public. And of course, sharing in your comfort zone helps to have a better clarity on what exactly you want to achieve in life. [Read about What’s that one thing you are most passionate about?]

And now the ball is in your court. You can reveal if you are comfortable or else just keep shhhh….

Whatever it may be telling or not,

Never underestimate yourself, never think others perception is better than yours. Value your own goals, just focus, learn maximum, work hard and achieve that…

I missed my world for many weeks

Can bacteria and viruses live together? If you have any doubt upon that, just look at my eyes. My poor eyes were the venue for their get-together.

Science says when viruses and bacteria stay together; they are just competing to take over your body. But I felt these guys were going to start a romantic relationship.. followed by a dance party.

Pinpointed shoes of those single celled microorganism were pricking all over the watery eyes during their disco.

But their dating didn’t last long.. may be the viruses were of bacteriophages type. So finally the show was taken over by viruses alone completely. When they were replicating in my eyes, I made myself away from everything around me as I don’t want another pair of eyes to host their festival.

I couldn’t ever imagine a small DNA or RNA enclosed by a protein shell is matured enough to place me in another isolated shell. I missed my world for many weeks.

So now after a long break I am reappearing. The infectious microorganisms have left the venue.

I am content that I didn’t let them spread.

And moreover the pricking pain gave me a different feel at a later stage, a catharsis for my mind.

The viruses attack you only if you had a hand to eye contact by hands or objects that are contaminated with the infectious virus. Hence never touch your eyes especially while being outside. Or even at home it’s a good practice to cultivate so that you won’t accidentally touch your eyes while being out too. Even while going to your ophthalmologist for a normal eye test, take special precautions like not to touch the table or other things kept there. We never know if a conjunctivitis patient entered their earlier.  Most probably that had happened to me too. And finally wash your hands if happened to have any contact with an infected person or items he or she uses.

God does not play dice..  really?

From all the signals around me I could decode the reason behind everything happening to me most of the times. It was not at all a theoretical belief, but a data driven one.  And I was secretly proud of that. Shhhhh…

And it forced me to believe that everything happens for a reason. Or in a way I believed in ultimate fairness for all. I thought there is a purpose to everything. I don’t wish to be fooled by randomness or the notion that the universe is governed by probability.

Yes, that’s what Albert Einstein also said: “God does not play dice”

But am I mistaken..? Is the world unfair..? Is there no cause for the effects? How can justice be given to the poor child who was brutally raped and killed? Even if the murderers were tortured and punished in the most barbarian way [hope atleast that to happen soon], can it justify the pain of the tormented the girl?

I cannot understand the purpose behind her pain.. [ yes of course it is understood the purpose behind that brutality….] But why did the poor child have to suffer..?

Should I still believe in that Universal Oneness that binds us all..? Who is holding the one end of that grand design string to cause unfairness to some?

I am not able to understand this… I feel so exhausted.. Her mourns haunts me..

Finishing touches

Don’t forget finishing touches. It makes everything complete and look more professional.

 

Are you in your late 20s? – Saturn is Homecoming

Are you in your late 20s?

If yes, be ready to welcome Saturn’s homecoming. Or be prepared to face questions about the life you are living.. A state of identity crisis.

A home coming happens when a planet completes its entire circuit through the sky and returns to the same place it was at the time of your birth.

Saturn return happens once every 29.5 years. So if you are in your late 20s, your play time is over. Saturn is nearing you. During the return, Saturn pulls you more intensively than usual reminding of your duties and responsibilities. Until then you had a feel like everything is possible, dreams can come true. But during this Saturn’s homecoming period, realities dominate the optimistic thoughts.  Yes, you are moving to adulthood.

If you are lucky enough you can have four more Saturn returns after the first one [second in late 50s, third in late 80s and fourth in late 110s…]

Actually most of the planets have the return/home coming. But I don’t understand how Saturn became so notorious out of that?  Venus, we treat for love, Jupiter for Goodwill, but poor Saturn for crises.

But what if we treat and welcome Saturn as a good reminder? Saturn’s energy is pulling you to concentrate more on your path. It is in fact making you stronger through challenges and crises. It is helping you to be well-ordered on your life journey. So welcome Saturn’s homecoming with more positivism.

Actually it is interesting to imagine how wonderfully somewhere out in the sky, Saturn changes our whole life.

I am neither an astrologer nor an astronomer to prove or disprove this. But I love these little little wonders of our universe. 

Why am I behind you?

I donno when did I start to admire you..? I even don’t know how come I fall for you..?

You appear in front of me whenever I wish. You make me laugh forgetting all my worries. When I am with you I feel as light as a dandelion flower. You untie me from all my networks and make me float in the air freely.

You know why I am behind you..?

Your innocence and creativity [mischief-maker in others eyes] made me fall for you.

I know you are always trying to create a good time with all but unfortunately resulting in the opposite mode. It’s not your fault, dear. But how sad when people fail read your loveliness and affection.

You opened me to a world of varying perspectives with your never ending chat.

“Mein ek panch sal ka bada bacha hum” [I am a five your old big boy] —– how sweet when you start like this with your big mouth

I am a big fan of your adventures, Master Shin-chan.

Love you shinchan, love you a lot….

—————–

Read about shincahn: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crayon_Shin-chan

Stand together and eradicate injustice – Part 2

Read the first part here….

Stand together and eradicate injustice – Part 1

I ran towards him. But before I could reach him, I found him assaulted by those people who was there on the other side of the street earlier.

Whats going on..? Someone rushed to me and dragged me a few meters away from the spot.

And at once I heard a noise. It was a blast. I looked back and found the flesh and bones of my dream rising high in the sky along with fire.

I was frozen. I felt some veins being broken inside my brain.

Who is all that around me? where am I? Am I admitted in a hospital?

How long have I been here..? Just an hour back. Aren’t I taken here a few weeks back.?

Someone is sitting beside me. It is him who saved me from that blast.

“How many are dead in that blast. ? Why did you save me?”

He just smiled and said “Only one. And you are saved from a devils hand and not from the blast”

It took me a lot of time to realize what he said and left unsaid.

Yes, it is a world where in people are least dared to stand together against injustice. This might be an uncivilised thought as in Castrate them. But do such child abusers deserve anything lesser?