High self-esteem

By | August 23, 2016

Why can’t I be over confident?

I don’t understand when my confidence turns out to be overconfidence..

Is there a gap between the two, segregating them?

Have you identified that gap..?

A positive vibe is there in ‘confidence’ while it becomes negative in overconfidence. Why do people tell in this way?

Self-confidence comes from within. So why should one be bothered on what others do?

Above all, does it really matter, whether it is confidence or overconfidence..? Even if it is over confident, either we will work hard to achieve it or we will fail and learn from the mistakes..so what’s wrong in being either way?

0 thoughts on “High self-esteem

  1. Hemangini

    in our minds we are always small, others are better.. we are brought up telling ourselves that and that mentality is hard to get rid of. Mostly we are told we are no better and that someone out there is always better then us. okay agreed, someone must be better then us. But why compare, you are you and I am me! end of line. but still comparing never stops and sometimes its hard to find someone who would encourage us or uplift us… Better be that person who uplifts and encourages, maybe some times cautious but never discouraging.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      there is a version for overconfidence, i.e people define it as “I can only do this, no one else” . Why do we need to bother about whether others.. we need to offer our best.. that’s it. isn’t it..? and as you said, there is no point in such comparison..

      Reply
  2. kiranmag

    The gap is the word ‘over’ with an” I” that brings you down …everybody experiences it …but the most imp thing is not let it happen repeatedly

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      hmm.. this is what everyone say…maybe it is the perspective difference..

      Reply
  3. my valiant soul

    You know if once you are overconfident you will stop to perceive your competition,you will do just your best and boast about it wheras you need the future strategy too for succeeding much in life.Confidence provides us determination and hope whereas overconfidence lets us demoralize others to an extent.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      overconfidence lets us demoralize others to an extent…do you think this can really happen..I mean, can you ever think, ‘it is only you who can do this in the best way’…do you think that this to be the definition of overconfidence..

      Reply
      1. my valiant soul

        I am not defining the word over confidence dear one,but tell me if you get overconfident won’t you think you can always achieve your targets easily?Won’t you feel everything is easy for you and maybe hard for others?Just an opinion!

        Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          infact I am trying to understand the hairline gap between conf. and over conf. and frankly speaking i could not find a situation where my confidence or the so called over confidence( i donno whichever) mislead me.

          Reply
          1. my valiant soul

            It’s a good thing if it does not misleads you.Anything which does not harms you or anyone else is in a nutshell good indeed!

          2. Akhila Post author

            and my point how can people tell like she/he was confident that she/he win it or he/she was overconfident that he/she failed it.. is it all decided by the people around us..?

          3. my valiant soul

            Nope,saying that someone failed because of being overconfident is not right as many other factors can be responsible if you fail.All I intend to say is confidence is something that guides your soul and once you get over confidence,you don’t even at times realise what can be the pros and the cons in a long run.In your case as you said you never got mislead due to overconfidence,so that’s a pretty good thing I guess!

          4. pins & ashes

            but confidence and over confidence is intimidating to the other if they have their own cooked up problems!! #pov
            Plus I think confidence is what we as a person feel overconfidence is what the other feels about a confident us. So it is a gap between perception like you and them. But, confidence should not lead to an arrogant know it all state of mind where no more learning happens. if then, the fall down the mountain begins!

          5. my valiant soul

            It’s really simple.If you are simply confident your deeds would show that,like I read someone giving an example of Sachin Tendulkar..so how do we decide he is confident or over confident?But as far as I see him,I am sure through his interviews I could conclude that he is a confident personality because had he been over confident,he must have seen something nobody wished for.There is a thin line between the two..you can tell that by looking any great personality!Over confidence is really amazing..only in short run.

          6. pins & ashes

            Agreed, we can know by looking at a person about their levels of their confidence.

            Disagree with the Sachin example, because of what he did with his waiting for his 100 100s and what he has been doing after his retirement. I would use Kumble as an example or say, Dravid! 🙂

            But I get your point, and taken well 🙂

          7. my valiant soul

            Ahh,take any example dear!You would surely know through their deeds.And Sachin making his decisions..how can that be related to confidence level?That is entirely the lessons of life,sometimes we make good choice and sometimes bad ones!Glad you could relate a bit.:)

          8. pins & ashes

            Hahaha! that’s why I said, point taken and taken well.. Sachin was a pleasant deviation since you brought it up 🙂

            I think I wrote as a reply elsewhere here it self, like you are saying..

            Confidence is like an iceberg.. because to attain a level of confidence is a journey in itself.. searching for the soul, the guts to move on, not to fall back .. all that packaged into one.

          9. my valiant soul

            Well yeah that’s another chapter..how to be a confident person!For attaining that a hell of things have to be experienced.

  4. Varsh

    Overconfidence blinds our approach to a certain extent. I’m the best and invincible…is a good thing to know but won’t necessarily be true for long. There’s always some confident person around who isn’t boasting and trying hard to get better.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      i think it’s a wrong word or a wrong usage..may be something deep rooted in our mindsets that a confident person wont do boasting while the overconfident person mat do….

      Reply
      1. Varsh

        I think the ‘over’ word itself implies something unnecessary. A confident person knows his limitations but overconfident one would probably be too proud to accept it. Boasting is a foolish thing to do in any case…Sachin Tendulkar never boasted. This bat did that for him. To boast is to undermine your own stature.

        Reply
        1. pins & ashes

          what a discussion on the use of words! Well, the basis is know your self, sort yourself out, you’ll get to know what you are and how good or bad you are. Once that mental introspection is done then all falls into place. If it is a hollow sense, then the person will get to know sooner..

          Reply
        2. Akhila Post author

          a confident person know where to draw the lines..does it mean that he can never fail? and interestingly when he failed , people attributed it to his over confidence..all some word plays..

          Reply
          1. pins & ashes

            Again there is nothing called failure ya! I wanted to run 1km non stop for the marathon, I did, but I did not take the podium stand. In my eyes I succeed in what I was determined to do. Confidence does not happen over a minute, it takes time, effort, diligence, practice and target! it is a process!

          2. Varsh

            Confidence is for us to know and understand. People can go take a hike!

    1. Akhila Post author

      ohkay.. did you paint your rubix cube with a new version of love color..?

      Reply
  5. Bikramjit

    The difference is people generated .. If one is doing somethig with all confidence and succeeds it’s called confidence.. and if one fails usually people says oh he was over confident.

    Over confidence is also in connection with boasting some people have this attitude to boast about what they have achieved or achieving ..In that context also we say over confidence

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      so true Bikram…it’s is all people generated versions..i heard like if you think only you can do it, then people call it as your overconfidence…difference versions of a word…

      Reply
  6. pins & ashes

    Totally upon you/or the person concerned. If you want to be confident, over confident or defident, just be and ya shut out the society!

    Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          sunny day here…but all of a sudden some heavy rain drops fell for a few seconds..big big drops..
          akhi….

          Reply
          1. pins & ashes

            aha! big big big drops.. 🙂 suddenly I felt typing out 6 letters was too long, lazy excuse 😀

  7. Shalini Sharrma

    I learnt it hard way because once i didn’t get through a paper just because i was pretty over confident as my mom said to appear it and let it go. I was confident then, don’t know what went wrong that i had to hear all this, thus, i realized i was much impatient than ever that differentiates the two for me but yes, in general sense one should always learn from experience not from gyaan sending our ways.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      good morning Shals.. you got it exactly..maybe there is a lesson waiting for me..

      Reply
  8. Shalini Sharrma

    plus your blog new makeover is too good, i like this white background and simplified version. Even your bio – always in love .. Aha.. Aha.. good good 😉

    Reply
  9. theonlysup

    One small gap I identified is when u say u r confident but u internally u have done zero or below par preparation..

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      hmm.. this is a common man language.. isnt it.. you are sup.. so should come with supreme gaps..;)

      Reply
          1. Akhila Post author

            ha ha..dont take it too seriously..this is a fun world.. you have done nothing wrong to be apologist…

          2. theonlysup

            its alright friend. may be u misinterpreted the meaning of my comment. its simple “when people pretend to be confident without much preparation , it leads to over confidence .. ” this is just my opinion . 🙂

      1. Akhila Post author

        ha.. you are so kind and caring.. but he was just mentioning in general..
        anyway i really appreciates your concern for me..thanks a bunch

        Reply
  10. Daisy in the Willows

    I think confidence and self-belief are crucial to success. Overconfidence can go two ways. It can lead to bold ideas or it can turn into arrogance- where the person won’t hear what others have to say. I think self-confidence allows more space fro listening to others ideas. Just a thought.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      thanks daisy..i liked your two way definition of overconfidence..and as you said, it’s the self who decides the best way out of the two ways

      Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      hmm..can you recollect a case where you were overconfident and which inturn lead to not so good results.

      Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          good morning Dhiraj…so hope now you are not into that ‘over’ stage now..;)

          Reply
  11. davekingsbury

    I don’t feel confident in myself but I sometimes feel confident that I am doing the right thing. Does that make sense?

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      ha ha..having confidence on doing the right thing, without confidence in the self..how comes it work..i’m thinking..

      Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          hmmm…that’s the best way..in a way it is in turn meeting the needs of self itself..

          Reply
  12. Nisthur Anadi

    Just be natural to you don’t judge your self as be as confident or over confident .

    Don’t care how People judge you.

    If over confidence comes to natural . Let it come and be with you like friend. Or many times you love to be confident just be that.

    Don’t try hard to be what you are not, let be the self. You are unique, beautiful, awesome amazing and what not ….

    Have great time just flow like water, accept the self like earth , be with the self like air.

    Being self is ecstatic. Being the self is blissful.

    Reply
  13. Jackie Jain

    Yes, I can relate to this question. I think there is a very thin gap between Confidence and over-confidence. When we believe we will succeed it is confidence and when we think our opponents will never win, it is over-confidence. It doesn’t make much difference when we work hard and try to do our best.

    Have a good time Akhila.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      true.. it does not create a big deal when we are offering our best.
      thanks jackie

      Reply
  14. namrataspeaks

    What I believe is that being confident makes you believe in yourself, whereas being over confident makes you underestimate others.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      thanks namrata..but when will you identify you were overconfident..?i think it’s a stand of mind only.. can’t be differentiated..

      Reply
      1. namrataspeaks

        Yeah, it would be a bit difficult to differentiate between the two but I think when confidence begins to take a toll on you, you know it’s overconfidence.

        Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      good morning and thank you my friend..I am starting my day with your reply..

      Reply
  15. Akhila Post author

    thank you LEO ;)..
    I agree with you fully..the difference lies in the eyes of perceivers..

    Reply
  16. Jacque'

    The wife and I really love this blog and appreciate the creativity and imagery you provide. Our minds are marvelous and capable of amazing feats, yet most people use them to do little jobs because they lack the confidence you identified in this article. If you ever want to take this blog to the next level by offering a Mobile App version my company Zenlight would love to help for an extremely low price, we appreciate the hard work you have put into this blog and wish you all future success in business and in life.

    Thank you for your time, it is the most precious thing we all possess.
    -Jacque’

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      thanks Jacque for your kindness.. I didnt think about a mobile ap version so far. If I do, will definitely contact you..

      Reply

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