Secret agenda behind the helping hands

By | April 8, 2017

help

“How helpful she is! “.

“He only paid the entire hospital bills. How great he is!”

You might have heard these kinds of conversations. Have you wondered thinking about the greatness of that helper?

But before judging their greatness, have a keen eye upon their helpful deeds.

In this self centered world, there is very little chance to be helped sincerely without a hidden motive in the helper’s mind. You may disagree with me wearing the shoe of a genuine helper. So obviously exceptions are there. But now let us think on those helping hands who have some secret agenda behind them.

Yes, it is there, whether you realize it or not. There is a secret agenda behind almost every helping hand.

And the most evil thing is when someone makes you believe that ‘you are helped by them while in fact he/she hasn’t played any role at all’.

What could be the motive of those helping hands.. .

  • With a little investment, they are looking for fame.
  • A give and take policy, even if the ‘take’ may be at a later point of time.
  • Hiding their own great benefits while portraying the service to others.

The first two are not that harmful. And the most trickster aspect is the last one. People will try to seek their own benefits under the impression of a helping hand. And they will be marketing themselves very tactically such that all around you will be deeply impressed with their help. They pretend as if they are servicing you, but there will be a hidden motive of self service.

Once we realize this, feel so much irritated with their help. And do you know how difficult it is to escape from their helping hand?

Personally I don’t like to be helped unless and otherwise no other options in front of me. There are two things which pull me back from being helped. First thing is the secret agenda of helping hand and secondly I don’t like to be dependent, cutting my wings.

117 thoughts on “Secret agenda behind the helping hands

        1. Akhila Post author

          yes. perfect..:)
          And the most important fact is to reccognize them, their motive..

          Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thank you.. Yes at times we need to be curt to keep such fellows away from us

      Reply
      1. Sakthi

        It’s hard to guess to be honest! Maybe it’s better to stick with limit if we find such a hands!

        Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          Yes.. at times I keep smiling seeing these kinds of helping hands. How pity they are as they don’t know that we understood their game.. he he..

          Reply
  1. Geetha B

    I see your point but there are truly helping hands. I’ve known many and am thankful for them. I think it is sad both to believe like a gullible fool in evil disguised as good and to see cunning and evil where there isn’t any or to be broken beyond recognition of true kindness.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thank you. I’m glad to know that there is still true kindness. Have a good day

      Reply
  2. Amrita

    Hmm.. I can relate to every word you wrote. I’ve learned to help when asked ( that too if it comes from within) and take help when you’ve given your all and still stuck.
    I don’t know how, but, there are so many moments when the Cosmos sent people (strangers) to get me out things I was stuck. This fills me with

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thanks amritha. .I understand. We can believe that there are still some good people around us send by God

      Reply
  3. Nitin

    A harsh reality of life. But true.

    PS – Please refollow me by clicking on my avatar. I got a new domain but it’s in limbo for now. Lost many of the posts too. THanks 🙂

    Reply
  4. davekingsbury

    I like to trust people until they give me cause not to – better than not trusting them until they prove they can be trusted.

    Reply
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  6. benrattle

    No such thing as altruism…Even when we think we’re being selfless we’re probably basking in the self satisfied glow of having done a good deed!
    Damn humanity. Urgh. Think I need a shower.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Ha. Nice thinking. Yes at times I too feel the selfishness behind my own selfless thoughts

      Reply
      1. Beparvah !!

        Am started taking lectures in Calcutta university.. And preparing for the exam… And getting habituated with the pain !!
        You know what I mean…
        Btw I tried what you said, sitting on the floor help at times..

        Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          Glad to hear From you. Happy to know that you are engaged with university. Take care friend

          Reply
  7. mukhamani

    I really don’t know if it is correct to think there is a secret agenda behind a helping hand. We too help people in whatever way we can. And I don’t think I have a secret agenda behind my actions. A very interesting post. I believe there are as many opinions as there are people. Regards

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      I am Glad to read your reply. And I liked your perspective about thinking of oneself in the situation.

      Reply
  8. pins & ashes

    Help without care of getting back.. But as you said, it is a selfish and moreover a self centred world.. We need to be careful and think about the intentions of people who cone forth to offer help! That said there are enough and more good helping hands 🙂

    Reply
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  10. Shweta Suresh

    Ithu pazhe post aano? This showed up in my reader now. Valare sathyam aanu. There are people who genuinely help others and then there are the fake ones. How do we know the genuine ones? It’s really hard. Better to ask help only when there’s no other alternative and that too from people you can truly trust. Alle? Allathe enghane manassilakkum whether their intentions are good or not??

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      This is an old post shweta. I reposted it. Its difficult yo understand the genuine helping hands. And you it’s more difficult to escape from those fake hands. They won’t leave you without creating an impression of a helper.

      Reply
  11. mathias sager

    Well described. Although it sounds a bit negative, I fully agree! We live in a transactional world, rarely somebody is really independent / self-sufficient, unfortunately! Examples are marriages for economic rather than romantic reasons, family bonds that break because of even small money issues, etc.. I like your determination to help yourself in a self-responsible way; strong! All the best!

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thanks Mathias. Yes, its about a negative aspect of the self centred world…

      Reply
  12. boundlessblessingsblog

    Well written Akhila and for sure u will find such people along your way who r very selfish and squeeze u of everything in life so one has to be careful.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Yes. Its damn difficult to escape from such people even when we deny their help. Their whole intention is to create an image of a helping hand. But it won’t be genuine

      Reply
  13. Sarah

    I agree, people are nowadays self-serving. I’d rather struggle to be independent and enjoy my fruits later than listen to someone saying were it not for him/her I would not have this or the other.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Exactly. You reflect my words. Why should we hear unnecessary fake words..

      Reply
  14. Jeni G.J

    I think people stopped to help each other. Every one is busy in their own lives. To help is a selfless act and if people are turning it into a selfish act, it’s not a good sign for humanity.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Obviously it’s not a Good sign.. We can’t expect any selfless acts..

      Reply
      1. Jeni G.J

        But help is a help. I’m happy to get any help and grateful for it. I don’t mind what’s the behind it and will feel sorry for them if it backfires.

        Reply
          1. Jeni G.J

            Ha ha..you’ll never know..may be you can write that too..let’s see.

          2. Jeni G.J

            I’m planning to start a challenge on my blog. Actually I just thought of it. You can try participating there.

  15. 2ndhalfolife

    It is a sad thing that you think that most givers have an ulterior motive. I would like to think the times I have offered to give something that this is not the case…that I am honestly just trying to be kind…

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      It’s so good then..I know there is little bit negativity in that post..and I am not blindly saying that all are alike. There are exceptions too..

      Reply
  16. Shaggy

    The people who don’t take generally, never give……
    Help is something we all need, day to day….. Doesn’t mean you are weak….
    Besides, the whole world is the give and take, what’s wrong with it??
    Asking for help and helping someone is the best way of cementing relationship…….
    Who helps without expectations?? Without motives, doesn’t mean they aren’t good people……
    If I did something for you I do want a return favour!! I dont get what’s wrong in it??

    Reply
  17. thewritewomanblog

    This post reminds me of a friend who sang praises for my blog one fine morning. She said so many wonderful things that I started wondering if she was mocking my work. However, it just turned out that she needed a favor and knowing my passion for writing, she chose to help me ‘boost’ my confidence with her mockery of a praise.
    However, there are wonderful people out there in this world who help without awarding him/her with a brownie point for the action. Most of these people have achieved greatness and almost always have shun the limelight and instead remained modest and opted to influence others to follow the actions.
    For me the first name would always be Dr. Devi Shetty whom I directly correlate to God himself.
    Saint Mother Teresa being another great soul. Even among us there are many who do their bit and vanish off into thin air without as much as expecting a ‘Thank You’ for their actions.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Yes, there are people who don’t wait for any recognitions.. They do their part and disappear.. Even at the same time, i feel pity on those people who try to create an impression of a helper

      Reply
  18. skd

    Trust with intelligent evaluation! Here we consider only our level of helping hand towards us. There you have the choice. However there are choice-less souls (majority). In such cases, we need to view this topic with wider perspective! Anyways, good trigger Akhila.

    Reply
  19. Moushmi Radhanpara

    You are absolutely correct.
    In this self centered world we can surely not rely on the helpers who may just seem to us as selfless.

    Reply
  20. kalyansparks

    I also faced these kind of things,I am always afraid to ask help.Because I faced some bad situations in past.People do one rupee help and ask us hundred rupee help.if we don’t do,they will spread negativity on us.And sometimes they do very small help but for getting some name in society They add some bad things on us and tell to people.( this happened with my parents,but unfortunately he is my own family member,soo we can’t blame him)That’s why I am scared to take help even from my family ,because Sometimes that take advantage,and we can’t say no,though it’s illegal!!!!! Thanks for sharing

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Yup.. Actually I don’t think it to be their fault, it’s the way they are programmed to live in this self centred world. What bothers me is how to escape from their fake helping hands

      Reply
  21. theonlysup

    its wrong to expect that help should be selfless act these days.if you are taking help ,return it with thanks in your own way.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Yes, its wrong to expect as you said.. My point was how to escape from them..its really awkward for me..sometimes you know, they won’t let you go without being helped as they planned..ughhh…

      Reply
        1. Akhila Post author

          some emotional bonds make us helpless..but I agree that we need to decline it in the best way possible

          Reply
          1. theonlysup

            i have faced these situations too.. but believe me sometimes some hard decisions are necessary ..

  22. Mithai Mumblezz

    Yep. There’s always a motive. I always stay away from too helpful and sweet people. They literally change colors like chameleon.

    Reply
    1. Akhila Post author

      Thank you. Identifying this chameleon is not a big deal for me, but keeping myself away from them is really a big issue

      Reply
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