I was waiting for the bus to come. It was a junction and I saw a lady with a child coming towards the bus stop. The lady was in a hurry that the kid was literally running to be with her. He too was shouting as being a kind of dragged by his mother’s hands . A couple of times he lost his balance and was about to fall. The smooth muscles of his too young vocal chords were vibrating and producing harsh sounds to attack his mom too. And on the way there was a small crowd in the footpath and she has to pass through them to reach the junction. In her hurry, she just hit another lady. Before the other lady could say something, the mom was nice enough to offer a “sorry” which made the other one open her lips to give an ironic smile. In a short while they reached the junction and I heard the child asking the mom “You are good enough to tell a sorry to the stranger, but how many sorrys you have missed to tell me?”
Sometimes (or most of the times) kids are the best eye openers for the elders, but only when you have a less egoistic mind to see that.
Often the parents world has a tendency to treat kids in a disrespectful manner,thinking they are just kids or assuming the children are their possessions. And it won’t limit their too, the biggest advices are poured even at the smallest babies and that too with a label, “I am saying for your good only”. I am not judging the whole parents ( which include myself too) or projecting myself to be an expert parent ( I too have made this “sorry” mistake until I realized it). But just emphasizing that nothing should be taken for granted, not even your own kids. They are also human to be treated equally and respectfully.
Another point which my son regularly complains is regarding the elderly interruptions while he talks. I know I would be the major interruption in his list. And yes I know I am his major listener too even though his ego won’t be ready to accept my claim publicly.
Kids are kids, it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be respected. There is no wall placed in their age, mentioning “after crossing this wall only we need to be respected”. They are not anyone’s materialistic possessions or any private properties.
If I can show the babe, how to be polite, why do I need to insist that always. “Live by example”. That would be a better strategy than imposing controls. Or can you actually remember an instance where in your child genuinely obeyed your orders and stopped repeating the misbehavior. None of us actually like to be controlled. If so how can we expect the impulse driven nerves of the kids to be inline with the elderly controls? It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t guide them on seeing a misbehavior. Or everything should be permitted on their demands. Just don’t underestimate that they are just kids.
If you hurt the child (of course won’t be intentionally), say sorry as we do with elders. And obviously never tell a sorry, if you don’t mean it really . No point in saying a sorry just for the sake of it. Talk to your kids and listen to them in the way as we do with elders. They do share the same world where we live. It doesn’t mean from tomorrow onwards, talking to them in the adult language and finally blaming me for all these stupidities.
We are used to many social conditionings so as kids. For them the conditioning mainly happens from what they sees or hears around at their younger stage. It’s actually unavoidable. And it would be too late by the time the grown up child realizes the impacts of this brain programmings. The babe realize what’s worth and what’s not worth by watching the world around them. So if you think “it” to be unworth, avoid stay with “it” or else your child is going to be with “it” very soon.
I don’t go behind any confirmation biases like, if I do this I am a good parent. If I do that I am a bad parent, likewise. But I really want to care for the feelings of growing baby generations and treat them as humans. It doesn’t mean always we need to accept their views, but just need to keep in mind that “Each and every child deserves to be respected and treated as human”
Pic : Google