How safe you feel – “fearfully female”

By | December 12, 2019

She felt Fearfully Female’

Everybody wants to be comfortable and cozy, who doesn’t? But being a woman she needs to be fearfully alive!!

Being a woman means I need to be fearful!!

Such fears are felt very intensely by women than men. Ah!! fear of rape is almost exclusive to females..

She needs to be afraid of being in womanhood. How ridiculous it is for a nation where the females are living in the moments of “feeling fearfully female”

If you are a man reading this, probably you might not understand the lingering fear of a woman. Maybe it wont make any sense to you at all. This is not an exaggerated fear, but well founded one because of the difference between sexes. Woman are always in sexual danger no matter how progressive the world is!!

Not all woman are fearful always. But there wont be a single girl around us who havent gone through this situation, atleast once in a life time, either while being alone in a bus or an empty road at some odd times. Most men dont live in that sort of fear, so obviously they may not be having any idea what it’s truly like to be a woman!! The gender difference comes out as anxiety or fear.

This is not even a matter of gender equality, but about ensuring the bare minimum needs. Day before yesterday it was was International Human rights day. And one must remember that “the fearfully female” species is also a part of this wonderful humans.

Of course one might be having so many other things to be afraid of like the fear of aging, fear of criticisms, fear of ill health, fear of loss of love, fear of death, fear of poverty etc which can happen to anyone anytime. According to Napoleon Hill, the fear of poverty is the most destructive and, at the same time the hardest to master of the six fears.

I am neither denying that nor lessening the importance of such fears. But all those fears or such realities are regardless of your gender. Its not a fear arising just because you are a male or a female. Or in a way those fears are not threatening your gender rights or sexual safety. But feeling to be “fearfully female” means she is literally afraid of being a female, being vulnerable to the crooks and fearful of being raped. Moreover its about ‘how safe you feel where you are’!!

(Also I didn’t mean to underplay men’s fear on a woman who falsely accuse them of raping her. Such damaging accusations can happen anywhere, but not predominantly.)

There could be many reasons behind this fear starting from traditional societal gender rules to patriarchal governance issues. She does not even need to be a victim of crime to be fearful. But still she is afraid of becoming the victim of the most gendered crime. She is living in the fear that can happen during an assault or dangerous sexual experience while being alone or trapped.

And the most important thing is the fear is not at all about the stereotypical issues or negative consequences to be faced by the victim at a later point it life. Rather she is constantly thinking about how to be safe because of her gender.

Girls are raped, then burnt alive after use !!

How to land somewhere safely while being alone at night- Its truly a nerve racking thought for most women. Becoming a victim of sexual violence is really terrifying when you are actually burnt alive after the use of flesh eaters.

“Women shouldn’t be traveling alone at night”. Yes, its a social norm heard all around multiple times. “We are walking even in the space and why not in the nearby road” would be the probable counter question. Its true, there is no gender bias happening while walking in the empty space of universe. But surely it happens if you are kept all alone in an empty nearby road or so. And ironically, more rapes happen even while being at home or at the hands of known people itself!! That’s how the situations are now.

Studies have shown that women that take more precautionary steps to avoid being raped have more fear of actually being raped, whereas women who work nights and are outside in the dark tend to have less fear of rape. This may be because women that are out in the dark alone are more familiar with the area, so they feel that there is less of a threat.

I had a time when I used to travel back home from hostel, mostly evenings but reaching at night. Friends would be there, but at a point we have to divert the routes. There after for a short duration I had to travel alone. I don’t know if I was not so conscious or was it my over confidence..? Anyway, the disease of ‘being burnt after rapes’ hadn’t that infected the society during those times. Or such news were not that widespread in media.

But now I don’t usually travel at night. If I have to, it would be in my most trust worthy zone. Crime rates has considerably increased now.

Even if she is equipped with four eyes, four hands and twelve senses, can she still win the masculine power of a gang of people if they all come together to celebrate her feminine raw flesh?

How to ease the fear of crime and prevent victimization

One of the most easiest steps to prevent victimization and thus dealing with fear of crime upto certain extent would be simple avoidance, the attempt to stay away from vulnerable areas like enclosed places with limited exit opportunities, deserted open spaces etc

But this wont be the case of all woman. Many are forced to travel or stay alone for many genuine reasons. What could be the solution for them to lessen their stress during those times?

As far as possible, let some one know where you are. And that wave of thought that ‘he or she knows where I’m now’ can considerably ease your fear of victimization

I am woman, just because of that I need to be vigilant on the crooks. If that’s what’s demanded by society, yes I have to be cautious of being raped and sexually assaulted.

And moreover its not that we are constantly afraid of men or fear is ruling us always. Rather its about the constant alertness. Since females are physically more vulnerable, precautions are taken. If home alone, we even have some escape routes well drawn in our minds unconsciously. It may sound weird for a man who never would have thought about such an escape route even while being in her same situation.

Only possible solution would be having emotional courage and physical fitness once trapped in such a situation though nothing can permanently sooth the agony of that moment. And self dependency is the only reliable choice in life as far as possible. If any help is received take it as bonus. Otherwise she herself must needs to be equipped with self defense mechanisms like karate, weapons or repellents.

And again these solutions to defend oneself from rapes and sexual violence have nothing to do while a 9 month old baby is being raped!! Nothing more to say on those crooks who wont even leave those infants..Read I am raped..

Anyways life must move on.. So,

Girls, over rule your fear, fear should not take away living your life, find your own ways, dont wait for anyone to relieve the stress and be self defensive as far as possible

Boys, this is a land for all of us, let us grow old together!!

There are responsible, honest, and respectful men all around us. They don’t hurt woman. They must never be judged on account of a few other dirty demons in the world. Intruders can never be tolerated, be it a man or woman!!

Women Helpline (India): 1091