“I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.” – anonymous
In a way we are all like this.. we think we are not judgemental, but deep inside we are not an exception. We do judge others, be it small or not.
Some people might have told you, “Don’t be judgemental”. Ah! Waite, what have they just said? .. they were judging you as Judgemental.
There are many things escaping our senses either ’cause we missed to notice or they were hidden behind a mask. We conveniently believe that our perceptions are right and all others are rubbish. We make effort neither to understand their perceptions nor to ensure the sanity of our own judgements.
This is not an absolute world. Everything is relative as mentioned in Einstein’s theory of relativity, “There is no “absolute” frame of reference.” Things fall in track when we are ready to accept that “I’m not always Right” (Read more I am not always right ).
“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ~Dalai Lama
Judging them doesn’t define them, but you
In fact judging them doesn’t define them, but you; no matter you accept it or not
As far as possible let us try to build a bridge of understanding and not let ourselves hang on a judgemental rope. There is no shortcuts to that, other than just accepting that you, me and all of us are judgemental in one way or the other. Once we are aware of the same, there is a little scope for a better vision. And gradually we will start to think about their contexts too before judging a person. We will start to give them a benefit of doubt, as we don’t know about their hidden disability or Himalayan data behind the scenes. There might be thousand tiny things unnoticed. Read more What you need to know before generalizing
And sometimes there is no harm in delaying such negative judgements. It will give you some more time to have a better vision on the scenario. There is always more to what you see. You don’t need to work on others perceptions, but have some room for flexibility in your own perceptions. Because it may need some expansions at times. Different things can be seen in the same image when you look at it again so as someone else.
And more over why should we spread negativism to the outside world too ? Negativity sells everywhere. (Read more Negativity- Overcome the bias and stop spreading)
How to build a bridge of understanding?
- Be mindful and have a hold on your tongue at times
- Be open minded and try to understand the context
- Be less judgemental, but more curious and empathetic
Being too nice is not the solution
Having said all these, being too nice is not the solution to all this. You can be nice, but no need to be too nice or too refined, compromising your own peace. There are obviously certain objective facts which is within the reach of judgements or call it discernment.
In fact judgement is one way of our thinking. We can’t completely get rid of that and no need of that too when we have sole base for our thoughts. So don’t be afraid to discern freely as long as you know how and when to do it. No harm in being judgemental as long as you are not lacking the compassion. You can make yourself better without putting others down. The problem with judgement arises when it is done just to satisfy the ego forgetting the actual facts, a stereotypical judgement.
Be self compassionate
Well, finally if you feel guilty of wrongly judging others, why not a little self compassion.. Above all, you have to be self compassionate to appreciate the value of others too.