Tears of ‘Coming home’ : Poetry

I’m not homesick
But I need to go home
It has been a year and half
since I haven’t gone home..
it’s the pandemic which made it this long
Know not when can I go
Deep inside of my heart,
it’s not that I’m missing my home worrying me,
but something else
which I can’t cope with
which I can’t ever get back in my home

There is an emptiness inside
an irreplaceable emptiness
a void which never can be filled
Be I’m there in my home or not
nowhere can I find what I miss really
nowhere can I hear the voice which I'm missing now
for whatever I want to see is gone forever
into some other existence
into an asylum of ultimate serenity
into a different timeline
but the remnants remain within me
making me blank at times

My Home,
it doesn’t captivate me anymore
But I need to go home
for..
for..
.. I cannot write anymore..
the tears are blurring my vision..

About the poem: This was a poem written last month and I am home now!